I love this quote from a book I am reading and I just thought I would share it with you all in the cyber world. The book is called Dreaming with God by Bill Johnson and he talks about how we must serve with the heart of a king but rule with the heart of a servant in what ever situation what we are in.

Bill goes on to say..."Royalty is my identity. Servanthood is my assignment. Intimacy with God is my life source. So before God, I'm an intimate. Before people, I'm a servant. Before the powers of hell, I'm a ruler, with no tolerance for thier influence. Wisdom knows which role to fulfill at the proper time."

In the rest of the chapter Bill Johnson talks about "invading Babylon" or invading the parts of our culture and society to take them over for the kingdom and shape the course of history. He talks about the seven "mountains" or pillars of influence. Business, Education, Church, Family, Arts/Entertainment, Science and Medicine, and Government.

I feel I have a calling to the Entertainment pillar. Another interesting quote in the "Entertainment" section of the chapter is ..."Heaven has what we want. Every creative dream is fulfilled in Heaven. The great news is that we have access to that realm through prayers of faith...When a musician taps into that reality and communicates that sound here, Heaven will have found agreement and will invade."

I want heaven to invade in my everyday life and in my creativity. Lord please find agreement with the creative songs you have placed in my heart. I want to bring glory to Your name.



I don't know why, but getting my hair done is important to me. I wish it wasn't so important because important unfortunately becomes expensive. Luckily I found a place here in Nashville that has a 50% off on Wednesday's deal.

I got into the coloring trap about 4 years ago and once you dye your hair you have to keep doing it otherwise your hair looks kinda weird. So I always cut and color at the same time about twice a year. Today was the day for the big C&C (cut and color). I decided that since I gave up tanning (due to lack of money, lack of time, and cancer threats) that my skin tones don't work so well with the light blond color of my hair. This time I was going to try to go back to my natural color but add a little bit of red to the mix for fun. No highlights, just all around color.

I was going to a new salon, which is always a little scary because you don't know what the stylist will do to your hair. Dale was my stylist. He ended up being AWESOME. Two thumbs up for Dale. He didn't just start wacking off chunks of hair, he really listened to what I asked for and actually studied the pictures of the cuts that I requested while the color was drying on my hair. I was shocked.

Well anyway, all that to say that my hair ended up being great. The color is CRAZY different than I am used to, but I expected that. I got a good discount and found someone that I will go back to in the future.

However, I do feel funny about the whole thing. I just hate that it is sooo expensive. I hate spending that much money (even at 50% off) and I hate that I care so much. I wish I could just cut and color my own hair. I guess I can justify it because I "wear" my hair everyday for 6 months so spread out over that many days it ends up only being about $.50 a day. Maybe someday I will be able to go all natural in color and only pay for a cut. Unfortunatly, I think that day is about 20-30 years away... We will see.

I will post some new hair pictures sometime soon.


Tree of Life

Saturday night at church was amazing. During worship you could tell that Holy Spirit was moving very strongly through the building. I could feel his presence so tangible that my stomach started doing back flips and my voice got shaky leading worship. I noticed that I LOVE singing prophetic songs in worship. By that I mean- going off the PowerPoint and singing whatever the Lord puts in my mouth.

Sometimes it is just as simple as me saying "holy", or "you are worthy" over and over again. That's just me pouring out my hearts perfume at His feet. Then, other times, I literally feel my voice get shaky and my stomach turn (like Saturday night) and I know the Lord wants to sing through me and a song that isn't something I would normally think of starts to flow out of my mouth. Most of the time I can't hold it in and I feel like I will explode if I don't sing it. It's pretty crazy. I love when the Lord uses me in that way. It feels so amazing to know that he can use me, broken messed up me, to minister to people.

Since Holy Spirit was moving so strongly on Saturday night our awesome Pastor Jon decided to just let Him do what He was trying to do. Minister to hearts. A few people had words for the congregation. Several responded to ministry time. And I kept feeling the urge to say the verse Proverbs 13:12 "hope deferred makes the heart sick, but longing fulfilled is the tree of life." I pushed that thought out of my mind saying to myself "the only reason you are thinking of that verse is because you just recently memorized it."

A couple minutes later Jon said something about Hope deferred then even later someone else said they had a lot of "Hope that was Deferred." I couldn't ignore it anymore and I said(more or less) that "hope deferred wasn't the end of the verse but that it goes on to say that Longing fulfilled is the tree of life and we have access to that!" Yay! It was really exciting.

It's funny that in singing I can easily sing what the Lord puts on my heart but if I have a word that needs to be spoken I second guess myself and get nervous to speak out. What is my problem. I need to stop listening to the negative voices in my head that hold me back from pressing into him and moving with Holy Spirit where He is going. This time Lord pushed me to say that 3 times before I actually was brave enough to say it in front of everyone. Next time maybe it will only be 2 times and then after that maybe only one. I just pray that I continue to move step by step closer to Him in boldness with an undivided heart full of worship and truth.


An Awareness

Recently, I have been praying for two main things in my life. I want an increase of His presence and I want an increase in my awareness of His presence. Sometimes I mindlessly go throughout the day not even thinking of God all but once or twice during the 9-5 hours.

In Mark 5 there is a story about a sick woman who had a bleeding disorder (for 12 years). She heard about the Jesus and the miracles He had done and she had hope. In verse 27-30 is says "...she came up behind Him in the crowd and touched His cloak, because she thought, 'If I just touch His clothes, I will be healed.' Immediately her bleeding stopped and she felt in her body that she was freed from her suffering. At once, Jesus realized that power had gone out from Him. He turned around in the crowd and asked, 'Who touched my clothes?'" (emphasis added)

Jesus was fully man and filled with the same spirit we are. Yet, he was so aware of the presence he carried that realized when there was a demand put on that power. I wonder what this felt like. Did He suddenly feel drained? Did His stomach turn? Did He feel a burning sensation in his body? But, even more than that I think it is amazing that He realized it!

I want that type of awareness of the spirit in my life. I want to constantly be aware of His spirit that I carry in this broken human vessel. I know that when I accepted the gospel message at an early age that the spirit came upon me and will never leave me. But I also know that He chooses to rest on people who seek him and desire to be in and know his presence more. I want to so be filled with the spirit during my daily walk that I can't help but notice when the spirit demands something from me or when something puts a demand on the spirit in me.

A good analogy regarding this...If you have a dove on your shoulder and you don't want it to fly away how would you walk? The answer is very carefully. Not carelessly. And most likely you would have a constant sense of the dove's presence on your shoulder.



Often times in worship I find myself having the urge to sing out whatever is coming into my heart. A lot of the time the song that is placed in my heart is one of two things. "You are Holy" or "You are Worthy" It is at times like these when I feel like I am going to burst with praise and nothing in the english/human language can express the longings in my heart.

Romans 8:26-27 says "...We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will." I think this shows that the words we pray or sing in praise don't have to be eloquent and fancy. The Lord knows the heart and the spirit will translate our meger human words of worship into something fit for the King of the Universe. Therefore, I think it is okay to sing the word "Holy" over and over again for 30 mins or longer. The Lord doesn't care what words we are singing because he knows what we are really trying to express.

If you haven't noticed yet, worship is one of my all time favorite things. I recently stumbled upon a song by Matt Gilman, one of the worship leaders at IHOP. The song is called Holy. It is very powerful. Click here to listen to it on his myspace. This song is basically how I feel everytime one of these free flowing songs arise in my heart. I just want to shout. And cry. And fall down. I know it sounds weird...but I don't care. I love worshiping the Lord with total abandon and if that is through one single word that is fine. I hope I get to do it like this for the rest of my life. Even when I am in heaven.



This post doesn't really have a lot to it, except that I wanted to make note that I feel like things are about to start shifting with my family, friends, church, work, everything. Shifting in a good way. I can't describe why I feel this way or what exactly the shift will entail, but I feel like the ground beneath me is gently sliding in a new direction.

I am excited. What's next?

On another random side note, I am so excited that it is the Holiday season. Christmas is my favorite time of the year. I love the music, movies, gift giving, decorations, snow, even the chaos at the stores (I know, it's a little weird, but don't judge!) This year in particular I am in awe of incarnation of Jesus. The fact that the savior of ALL mankind wrapped himself in our human flesh and form as a little bundle just like everyone else is astounding. I want this awe to continue all the time.

The other day I was singing carols in the car and I got to What Child is This and almost started crying. Thinking about Jesus Christ who came to this earth FULLY man and experienced all the same things that I have experienced (if not to a higher degree). Yet, he was FULLY God, never sinned and stood in my place to receive my judgment on the cross. It blows my mind to say the least. This again is one of those things I don't think I will ever understand on this earth. And if that is what helps me keep the awe I am okay with that.