29

Like most people I love the holiday season. Parties, presents, twinkly lights, the incarnation of God and in the middle of it all I get to celebrate my birthday. Being at the end of the calendar year my birthday is a wonderful time for me to reflect, celebrate and set goals for the coming year. This year was the big two-nine. My last year before exiting my 20s and becoming an official 30 something.

Josh made my day extremely special. A hair cut and color the Friday before, breakfast out, a day spa treatment, lunch at Chick-Fil-A and a fancy dinner downtown Nashville at Sambuca followed by Jeni's ice cream. I was incredibly indulgent and reveled in being spoiled on my one big day of the year.

On the drive to and from dinner Josh and I talked about what a big year 28 was and what I hoped for in the 365 days to come. It was a bit of a hard question to answer, honestly. I felt a bit like I needed to have the perfect answer and like my thoughts needed to be sorted out more clearly. It took some time to form a response to the question of "What do I want in the coming year?" "How do I want to grow?" "What do I want to do?" "What direction am I headed as a person?"

Here is where I landed. I want to go deeper.

I want to know what it looks like to have deep unbreakable relationships. With Josh and Felix - being in tune with their needs and desires. Creating a home and safe space for their passions and personality to thrive. Genuinely listening and encouraging them to fully become who the Lord created them to be. And I want to go deeper with the community around me. Intentionally reaching out to those I care about. Praying for them. Listening to them. Having laugh-till-your-sides-hurt lunches and late night conversations over an open bottle of Pino Noir.

I want to go deeper in my understanding of myself. I want to know my triggers. know my weaknesses and strengths. Know my passions and direction. Know the calling that is placed over me and move deeper into that calling.

I want to go deeper in my walk with Jesus, too. I want to search out the hidden things of God and find them and I want the Lord to reveal new things to me and teach me how to feel his saturating presence in my life day in and day out. Making dinner. Doing laundry. Changing diapers. Photographing friends. Shopping at the grocery. Sleeping and waking. Feeling the the Holy Spirit's pleasure and closeness in every aspect of my life creating deep roots of faith and trust.

So that's it. No more shallow spread thin plans and ambiguously moving forward in life. I'm hoping for big things as I open myself up to allowing some roots to take place in the coming year. After all, this tree is going to grow pretty big over the next decade and the roots need to go pretty deep to keep things growing in the right direction.

Because if you can't post a selfie on your blog on your birthday...when can you?

(My last shallow act ever...? Nah...)