Felix Almost One

My dad says Felix walks with a swagger. It is really adorable actually. he is a bit duck footed and sways gently back and forth with each step and picks his left foot up just a bit more than his right. The boy loves to explore. We went to a place called the Fun Factory for Christopher's birthday in Cookville and they had a baby area where Felix could wander about at will. Brightly colored plastic balls from the ball pit were scattered everywhere. Felix went about squatting all the way down like a little indian man his butt a hovering a half inch above the ground investigating each ball within reach and then choosing one of his liking to carry around proudly. Holding it out to each person he would encounter. 

Those places are germ infested, always have dingy fluorescent lighting and a funky smell but they are so much fun for kids. Papa bounced him with vigor and he belly laughed up a storm in the bouncy house. I stuck him in the ball pit and he starred around for a while with saucer-like eyes of wonder amazed at the balls surrounding him. Then he started tossing the balls out side of the pit one at a time like a man on a mission to chisel his way through a mountain.

He is starting to get that things have names. He will hold different items out to me and say "Da?" with a question mark on the end like he is asking what the item is. I with repeat "cup" or "ball" or "dog" to him multiple times and sometimes it seems like he is trying to say the word back to me. 

His hands never fail to find the poo in a poopy diaper.  Constantly grabbing himself or starching his bum the instant his diaper is removed. Its the grossest part about parenting so far (stomach bug vomiting and snotty noses included). There is nothing worse than trying to wash and dry a baby's hands with out getting water everywhere to avoid having fecal matter under your child's fingernails. yuck…Plus, I know where his hands are going the next time I nurse him - deep inside my mouth - inspecting every tooth and pulling my lip like he expects it to pop off at any moment.

He is a really sensitive independent child. Older kids and their unexpected "cookie monster" voices, stealing toys, or their desire to "dress up baby" really send him over the edge. He also seems to have a pretty delicate personal bubble. Too close and big ole tears are sure to come. We tried to give him a bath with his cousin North recently and it was way to much for Felix to handle. 

He has learned how to crawl up and down stairs. He will circle his feet all the way around and crawl backwards from a foot away from the stair when he is ready to go down. And when he is ready to go up and quietly sneaks away from me and takes a little peek with a sly smile over his shoulder to see if I'm watching while he jets up the forbidden staircase. It's too adorable to make me angry. 

He is going to be one in 2 days and it makes my head spin. I have so many sweet memories and so many challenges that I loved my way through in this first year of motherhood. It is truly amazing how this little boy with creamy white skin, one little tuft of red hair in the back and 5 teeth has flipped my world upside down and has taught me about self-sacrificing, unconditional, earth shattering love like I never knew before. It was heaven and hell, dark and light, wretched to the core and gloriously beautiful all at the same time. And this year has started the weaving of a beautiful tapestry of our family of three sweet lives twisting and turning in and out of one another from this point to eternity.