Becoming a Mom

I honestly don't know how other mommy bloggers do it. Take care of a newborn while still magically taking pictures with beautiful lighting of their child and simultaneously making home cooked meals every night and blogging 4 times a week.

Today Felix is 9 weeks old and I'm JUST starting to feel like the chaos of mommy hood is balancing out to a dull hum and I'm regaining a bit of my sanity and time to do things. Things like take a walk, shower before noon, grocery shop or do a bit of yoga (42 mins of a 62 min DVD - I put that one in the win pile).

But even in the crazy-exhausted newborn haze when I didn't leave the house, let alone put on a bra or makeup for two weeks, I loved it. Even when I felt a bit like a crazy person sleeping in 45 min stretches till 4:30 PM, not eating unless someone placed food in front of my face because walking down the stairs to the kitchen was too much to muster, and hobbling around with a sore pelvis from pushing out a 10 lbs baby. Even through the 104 degree fever with mastitis and swollen eyes from the tears I wept upon realizing the struggle single moms must overcome. Even in the car when my little mister cries and cries and I'm useless to help him because my hands are on the wheel.

Even among all the exhaustion and chaos I have loved every single minute of becoming a mom. I've loved that this perfect squishy little boy needed me. I've loved how much of his daddy I saw in his face and feet. I've loved that he was a floppy newborn, but was still the big Michael-gene baby I expected. I've loved that he has has such personality from day 1 and smiles gummy grins at me all the time. I've loved discovering things about this little man that only I as his mom could know. I've loved seeing how he calms down when daddy is near and falls fast asleep every time he gets in the crook of daddy's arm.

And even now, as Felix is discovering his hands, feet, and voice I'm BEAMING with pride. I mean, who would have thought that I could be so proud of another person for looking at their own fingers. It's ridiculous.

Even with all the wonder and business of becoming a mom, I'm itching to get back into blogging. This blog has always been a place for me to process what is happening in my life and even perhaps to entertain those who find themselves at withallherheart.blogspot.com. And becoming a mom and balancing who I am as a wife, a friend, a sister, a daughter and child of God is going to take a lot of process.

So I may not be blogging 4 times a week, but I want, nay I NEED, to start writing again and obviously this blog is going to take a shift towards thoughts on Mommyhood for a while. I do hope you will stick around and read.