Good and Gracious

I am sure I have already said this before, but I just want to reiterate what a good God He is. Over Easter I was in Bloomington, IL visiting my in-laws and when we were about to leave to head back to Nashville I started to panic because I couldn’t find my purse Bible. I received this Bible from my mom about 4 years ago and it is tiny… the size of a check book and convenient to carry in my purse. Older people are always amazed at how small the font is and they will make some comment when they see me reading it like: “give it 10 years missy…” or “I remember when I could read fonts that small...” As fun as those comments are they aren’t the reason that I love my purse Bible so much.

I love my purse Bible because it is the Bible that I started to really dig into the word with. I literally carry it around with me everywhere switching it from purse to purse and pulling it out when I have 5 or 10 spare minutes somewhere. It is underlined all over the place and I have written special notes in the margins on some of my favorite verses.

When I thought I had lost my purse in Bloomington I was devastated and frustrated beyond belief. I couldn’t understand how it went missing nor could I remember the last place I had it. Was it in the car ride down? Did I leave it at the Church Easter morning? Had it fallen out of my purse at some restaurant? Was it at Small group the previous Thursday? Argh! Losing things is not fun…especially when it is something so important to your daily life.

When we got home to Nashville I tore the condo apart looking for it everywhere. Couch cushions. Car. Car trunk. Side table. Mattress. Office desk. It was no where to be found. I eventually gave up hope and started carrying my large bible around, forgetting it for important bible study/church events 85% of the time. Over the next few weeks my frustration grew. I was so angry at the injustice of my BIBLE being lost! Why would my favorite Bible be lost for all time. Why?!

One day while driving home from work I was thinking about how it had been an especially frustrating day at work and I could use some good bible study. I had recently heard a story about a believer who lost his favorite pocket knife and went through a similar situation I was going through - frustration, sadness, frantic searching, giving up -- This particular believer finally at the end of his rope said out loud to the Lord in an empty hotel room “I want my knife back” and out of the sky…the pocket knife appeared and dropped into his lap. Thinking about that story got me thinking about my bible and I thought if God will give a guy his pocket knife back, how much more important is His word! So getting a burst of hope and energy I said out loud in my car “I want my Bible back!” Again I said louder “I want my Bible back!” and finally shouting over and over “I want my Bible back!” I glanced around to see if it had appeared out of thin air…nothing. I reverted to my sad, frustrated state yet again.

That night we had small group. I wasn’t feeling it. During the prayer time at the end all I could think about was my bible so I prayed that he would give it back to me. At the end I was still in cranky mood and left actually crying because of such a frustrating day and feeling lonely and abandoned due to the lack of an answer.

Later that evening while sitting on the couch at home I felt the urge to check the couch one more time for my bible. I shrugged it off thinking…I have already checked there a few times before and there is no way I missed it. Again later, I felt the same urge and I shrugged it off again. Finally, one more time before I went to bed I felt the same urge so I thought, “what can it hurt” I pulled back the couch cushion and there in plain sight sat my purse Bible right next to my “reading the bible in a year” study guide. I shouted and I think I scared my housemates because I was so happy! Right away I went up stairs and started reading it again.

Another life lesson has been taken away from this experience. God wanted me to ask Him for help. He wanted me to know that I can’t do everything on my own and he wanted to reveal to me how good He is and how much He wants to bless me. Also, I didn’t even ask for it or know it was missing, but he gave me my “reading the bible in a year” guide back as well so He even gave me something back that I didn’t know I needed! I am so happy and blessed. Every time I see my purse bible now I am reminded of His amazing love and goodness and my heart bursts with thanksgiving and joy!


Seasons of Change...but not for me.

I find myself being taught some weird life lessons lately. Lessons, that I honestly didn’t see coming at all. One of these lessons being that post school friends are hard to make and keep. Now, don’t get me wrong, Josh and I have many friends, but there aren’t many, if any, really close unbreakable friendships that have been established outside of college. Yes I am aware that last Saturday it has been 2 years since I walked across that stage in Anderson, IN and moved my tassel to the left side and I maybe should have realized this “lesson” a little sooner than now…but alas, now it is coming to light.

I think the reason I am noticing this now is that all of a sudden the seasons seem to be changing for everyone around me. College and High School graduates of 2009 are preparing for their big walk across the stage. Friends are moving out of state. Friends are having babies left and right. Friends are planning for babies left and right. Friends are leaving the country for extended periods of time. Friends are getting married. And so on and so on…I however, have nothing even remotely like that on the horizon.

I don’t feel like it is bad that I don’t have anything HUGE going on. I actually feel pretty good about it. I guess Josh and I feel like we have kinda “put down our roots” here in Tennessee and we are happy. I am just used to being the one who is having the seasons change. It’s difficult when people drift in and out of our lives, and we can’t easily follow. It makes it hard to stay connected with people and develop deep tight-knit friendships.

People get busy in their own lives and it seems as though they forget about all they left behind. I am totally guilty of this as well. Actually, I am probably one of the worst offenders. I am HORRIBLE at keeping in touch with the people I love and care about most. I guess it’s easy to “forget” about things that aren’t right in front of your face, which is sort of ridiculous…

Anyway, all of this to say that I am waiting on God to see what the “next big thing” is for my life. And as always I am looking forward to hear what He has to say.