Something New

This blog is delinquently overdue and I should have written it about 3 weeks ago, however I honestly haven't had a moment to spare in quite sometime. And here I sit, 11:00 p.m. on a Saturday night, in my PJs, with the only sound in the background being willow's jingling collar or nervous bark every time she hears a car roll by.

The title of this blog should actually be - "lots of things new", but that doesn't have quite the same ring as "Something New" The month of October has brought about many changes. As you recall in my post several months ago when I had to say goodbye to some good friends as they moved back to Florida I pondered how I would react when my housemates/brother-in-law, Sister-in-law, and Niece moved out and headed on the first step to fulfilling their calling to be Bible translators. Well, that moment has come in gone in the past month. For the most part I think I handled the whole thing fairly well. We threw N&J a big going away party and it was a success in many ways. We spent a the whole week leading up to their departure soaking up time with them and reminiscing on the last year and a half and then the morning they left I broke down for a while thinking about how much I would miss them...and then I realized they aren't dying, but rather living life abundantly! Not to mention modern technology makes communication overseas a breeze now a days. (yay for skype/email/facebook!)

I thought that once they left life would slow down, but boy was I wrong. It seems like things have just gotten busier than ever. Josh and I find ourselves falling in bed (the new Cal King we inherited we begrudgingly took off of N&J hands...just kidding!) each night exhausted beyond belief. And now that we both work (yippie!) it's making the little free time we have together very cherished. It just seems like our evenings get jam packed with activity after activity and meeting after meeting. We are quickly trying to fill in the holes that N&J left when they moved...i.e. the two empty rooms at the end of the hall now (tear) are being converted to an office and guest bedroom, once storage areas turning into a food pantry etc.

Reguardless of the busy schedule I'm going through a season of God revealing His love to me over and over again in many different ways. You would think that might get boring, but that's not the case at all... in fact at a John Mark McMillan concert last night we sang the song "how he loves us" and at one point during the song I literally said over and over again "This Just never get's old! It never get's old!" God loves us! It's weird. I'm not very good a being deep about things like this. Sometimes simple is good, and I'm hoping now is one of those times.

Here's a verse I will leave you with that has been wreaking me (in a good way) for a week now. Enjoy.

Romans 8:38-39

³⁸For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, ³⁹neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Poll

Is it selfish for me to create the below "before I turn 35 list"? Am I putting my own surface agenda's before the Lord's plan for my life? Or it is good to have a list like this so I have fun things to stive towards and I live life to the full? Would I really be living life to the full if I completed the list? To me, it seems like I will just be participating in some fun events and never really making an impact on anything...however, I want your opinion. Leave a comment. Let me know what you think about Bucket Lists, before 35 lists etc...

Operating in Power

God has been teaching me more and more that my life should be operating in power. I shouldn't just wait till I am at church to be moving in the supernatural but I should be naturally supernatural every day of my life. I should be walking around abiding in him as I drive, type, sit in meetings, take phone calls, eat, sleep etc. and I will naturally be filled with his presence and begin to operate in the power that will bring people to him.

As I abide in him, my heart will begin to see life in places where things have gone dead...i will start to see God's solution for ruptured and dissolving situations. I will begin to realize the Good He has for the world. And rather than be overwhelmed by the collapsing governments and surrounded by adulterous nations and people hopefully I will have the courage to speak truth and glory into those situations.

I am trying to fix my eyes on him and learn what this looks like. Learn to live like Jesus every step of the way...

Of course it is a lot easier to write about all this than it is to actually live it. It's a lot easier to say I will walk up to a hurting and lonely stranger and give them a prophetic word. It's a lot easier to say I will pray for a co-worker when they tell me they aren't feeling well. It's a lot easier to say when someone passes me in a wheelchair while I'm doing my lunch time devotional that I will boldly walk in their direction and ask to pray for their entire healing...mind, body and, soul.

Lord, give me strength and courage...this was your plan from the beginning, and it's going to take a while for this fearful little mind to adapt to, but I honestly want this.

His Love

Lately I have been overwhelmed by God's Love. A few weeks ago, I messed up...and I messed up bad. After the big screw-up I wallowed around in my guilt and shame for a few days. I felt depressed, frustrated at what I had done, mad at myself for slipping and sad that I felt like I had really let the Lord and the people around me down. I was humbled to say the least.

In the midst of all of this the Lord just started to show me little snippets of His love. Through my husband, my church, the Bible, and more. In a sense I did go back to square one and I had to be convinced that God could love me again because I fell so hard. I had to be reassured that He will be faithful and His Love is stronger than my sin and completely unfailing. It's not an unfailing love that is dependent on me being perfect...but it's unfailing ALL the time.

I sit here typing this blog today, knowing God's love in a stronger more passionate way than ever before. It's overwhelming to be completely forgiven. It's overwhelming to me that Jesus would DIE a horrific death on the cross to save me from literally hell because He loves me. It's overwhelming to me that He still pursues after me when I mess up and roll around in my selfish guilt and self loathing for a few days. It's overwhelming to me that He still wants to use me from this broken place where it barely feels like I should be allowed to be around other believers let alone minister to/with them. It's overwhelming to me that He would not only pull me from the place of guilt but bring me out on the other side with a renewed passion for Him...I guess that's just one of the many ways He works all thing together for my good....

He is such a worthy, powerful, magnificent Lord and friend. I am so thankful. I'm looking forward to experiencing more of His love in the coming season. Shoot, maybe I will even learn to love others with a fraction of the faithfulness and passion that He loves me. So amazing.

Blessed

Today, I was driving home after spending a beautiful afternoon of fellowship, prayer and worship with a great friend and I felt overwhelmed. I felt overwhelmed with a sense of joy and God's blessing on my life. I couldn't stand it. I started saying out loud over and over again, "thank you. thank you. thank you." till I found myself weeping. I am just so blessed to be seen and known by the Lord of the universe.

That He would care enough for me to give me a day off and fill it with irreplaceable moments with an amazing friend. That He would care enough to use me, the broken sinning vessel that I am. That He would care enough to bless me with a home, an amazing husband, a brilliant church, plenty of food, a job in the weakening economy, free space and time to meditate on him, my health, my families health, caring friends and more. That He would care enough to meet me in my car driving on 65 north on a random Friday afternoon and show me how blessed I am.

My heart is full right now. Thank you to who ever is out there praying...I'm feeling it. I'm so overwhelmed.

Before I Turn 35

I've been thinking about my list a lot since my last post, but I haven't ever had the time or muster to actually make a list...well actually I made the list on my new iTouch and then in not being familiar with the program ended up accidentally deleting it...kinda depressing actually. So for now...I am going to write my premilinary list and will use this post as a framework to come back to and shape and mold my list over the next few months.

1. visit Israel
2. visit Europe at least once
3. make my own wine
4. record an album
5. write some significant poetry
6. ride in a hot air balloon
7. hike the grand canyon again
8. visit wine country in California
9. have a baby
10. start a successful sustainable company
11. ride an elephant
12. ride a camel
13. see Niagara falls again
14. camp for a week or more straight, prefreably in the middle of nowhere
15. plant a church
16. preach a sermon
17. surprise a stranger with a good gift
18. learn another language (Spanish or french)
    
19. live in another country for at least a month
20. sucba dive
21. take ballroom dance classes
22. Learn how to make authentic greek food
23. Skydive
24. Hike/Camp in the Rockies
    
25. White water raft
26. Take a spontaneous trip to the beach
27. Be a teacher for a season
28. build a house and live in it
29. Read the top ten classic novels
30. Plant a baby tree and watch it grow to a massive tree
31. Make a time capsule
32. Go to an Ohio State/Michigan Football Game...at the Horseshoe.
    
33. ...
34. ...
35. ...

More to come later.

The List...coming soon!

I had lunch with a friend today who is turning 30 next year. He was telling me all the things he is going to do in between now and then to prepare for the big three-zero. Things like run a marathon, hike in New Zealand, and visit Istanbul. This conversation got me thinking and has inspired me to create my "Before I turn 30" list...however since that is less than 6 years away and I have only spent about 5 mins thinking about my list and already have at least 5 relatively expensive trips on it, I think i might have to make my list a "before 35 list" unless i win the lottery....

List to come soon.