12.18.2008

Royalty

I love this quote from a book I am reading and I just thought I would share it with you all in the cyber world. The book is called Dreaming with God by Bill Johnson and he talks about how we must serve with the heart of a king but rule with the heart of a servant in what ever situation what we are in.

Bill goes on to say..."Royalty is my identity. Servanthood is my assignment. Intimacy with God is my life source. So before God, I'm an intimate. Before people, I'm a servant. Before the powers of hell, I'm a ruler, with no tolerance for thier influence. Wisdom knows which role to fulfill at the proper time."

In the rest of the chapter Bill Johnson talks about "invading Babylon" or invading the parts of our culture and society to take them over for the kingdom and shape the course of history. He talks about the seven "mountains" or pillars of influence. Business, Education, Church, Family, Arts/Entertainment, Science and Medicine, and Government.

I feel I have a calling to the Entertainment pillar. Another interesting quote in the "Entertainment" section of the chapter is ..."Heaven has what we want. Every creative dream is fulfilled in Heaven. The great news is that we have access to that realm through prayers of faith...When a musician taps into that reality and communicates that sound here, Heaven will have found agreement and will invade."

I want heaven to invade in my everyday life and in my creativity. Lord please find agreement with the creative songs you have placed in my heart. I want to bring glory to Your name.

12.17.2008

Hair

I don't know why, but getting my hair done is important to me. I wish it wasn't so important because important unfortunately becomes expensive. Luckily I found a place here in Nashville that has a 50% off on Wednesday's deal.

I got into the coloring trap about 4 years ago and once you dye your hair you have to keep doing it otherwise your hair looks kinda weird. So I always cut and color at the same time about twice a year. Today was the day for the big C&C (cut and color). I decided that since I gave up tanning (due to lack of money, lack of time, and cancer threats) that my skin tones don't work so well with the light blond color of my hair. This time I was going to try to go back to my natural color but add a little bit of red to the mix for fun. No highlights, just all around color.

I was going to a new salon, which is always a little scary because you don't know what the stylist will do to your hair. Dale was my stylist. He ended up being AWESOME. Two thumbs up for Dale. He didn't just start wacking off chunks of hair, he really listened to what I asked for and actually studied the pictures of the cuts that I requested while the color was drying on my hair. I was shocked.

Well anyway, all that to say that my hair ended up being great. The color is CRAZY different than I am used to, but I expected that. I got a good discount and found someone that I will go back to in the future.

However, I do feel funny about the whole thing. I just hate that it is sooo expensive. I hate spending that much money (even at 50% off) and I hate that I care so much. I wish I could just cut and color my own hair. I guess I can justify it because I "wear" my hair everyday for 6 months so spread out over that many days it ends up only being about $.50 a day. Maybe someday I will be able to go all natural in color and only pay for a cut. Unfortunatly, I think that day is about 20-30 years away... We will see.

I will post some new hair pictures sometime soon.

12.16.2008

Tree of Life

Saturday night at church was amazing. During worship you could tell that Holy Spirit was moving very strongly through the building. I could feel his presence so tangible that my stomach started doing back flips and my voice got shaky leading worship. I noticed that I LOVE singing prophetic songs in worship. By that I mean- going off the PowerPoint and singing whatever the Lord puts in my mouth.

Sometimes it is just as simple as me saying "holy", or "you are worthy" over and over again. That's just me pouring out my hearts perfume at His feet. Then, other times, I literally feel my voice get shaky and my stomach turn (like Saturday night) and I know the Lord wants to sing through me and a song that isn't something I would normally think of starts to flow out of my mouth. Most of the time I can't hold it in and I feel like I will explode if I don't sing it. It's pretty crazy. I love when the Lord uses me in that way. It feels so amazing to know that he can use me, broken messed up me, to minister to people.

Since Holy Spirit was moving so strongly on Saturday night our awesome Pastor Jon decided to just let Him do what He was trying to do. Minister to hearts. A few people had words for the congregation. Several responded to ministry time. And I kept feeling the urge to say the verse Proverbs 13:12 "hope deferred makes the heart sick, but longing fulfilled is the tree of life." I pushed that thought out of my mind saying to myself "the only reason you are thinking of that verse is because you just recently memorized it."

A couple minutes later Jon said something about Hope deferred then even later someone else said they had a lot of "Hope that was Deferred." I couldn't ignore it anymore and I said(more or less) that "hope deferred wasn't the end of the verse but that it goes on to say that Longing fulfilled is the tree of life and we have access to that!" Yay! It was really exciting.

It's funny that in singing I can easily sing what the Lord puts on my heart but if I have a word that needs to be spoken I second guess myself and get nervous to speak out. What is my problem. I need to stop listening to the negative voices in my head that hold me back from pressing into him and moving with Holy Spirit where He is going. This time Lord pushed me to say that 3 times before I actually was brave enough to say it in front of everyone. Next time maybe it will only be 2 times and then after that maybe only one. I just pray that I continue to move step by step closer to Him in boldness with an undivided heart full of worship and truth.

12.10.2008

An Awareness

Recently, I have been praying for two main things in my life. I want an increase of His presence and I want an increase in my awareness of His presence. Sometimes I mindlessly go throughout the day not even thinking of God all but once or twice during the 9-5 hours.

In Mark 5 there is a story about a sick woman who had a bleeding disorder (for 12 years). She heard about the Jesus and the miracles He had done and she had hope. In verse 27-30 is says "...she came up behind Him in the crowd and touched His cloak, because she thought, 'If I just touch His clothes, I will be healed.' Immediately her bleeding stopped and she felt in her body that she was freed from her suffering. At once, Jesus realized that power had gone out from Him. He turned around in the crowd and asked, 'Who touched my clothes?'" (emphasis added)

Jesus was fully man and filled with the same spirit we are. Yet, he was so aware of the presence he carried that realized when there was a demand put on that power. I wonder what this felt like. Did He suddenly feel drained? Did His stomach turn? Did He feel a burning sensation in his body? But, even more than that I think it is amazing that He realized it!

I want that type of awareness of the spirit in my life. I want to constantly be aware of His spirit that I carry in this broken human vessel. I know that when I accepted the gospel message at an early age that the spirit came upon me and will never leave me. But I also know that He chooses to rest on people who seek him and desire to be in and know his presence more. I want to so be filled with the spirit during my daily walk that I can't help but notice when the spirit demands something from me or when something puts a demand on the spirit in me.

A good analogy regarding this...If you have a dove on your shoulder and you don't want it to fly away how would you walk? The answer is very carefully. Not carelessly. And most likely you would have a constant sense of the dove's presence on your shoulder.

12.04.2008

Holy

Often times in worship I find myself having the urge to sing out whatever is coming into my heart. A lot of the time the song that is placed in my heart is one of two things. "You are Holy" or "You are Worthy" It is at times like these when I feel like I am going to burst with praise and nothing in the english/human language can express the longings in my heart.

Romans 8:26-27 says "...We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will." I think this shows that the words we pray or sing in praise don't have to be eloquent and fancy. The Lord knows the heart and the spirit will translate our meger human words of worship into something fit for the King of the Universe. Therefore, I think it is okay to sing the word "Holy" over and over again for 30 mins or longer. The Lord doesn't care what words we are singing because he knows what we are really trying to express.

If you haven't noticed yet, worship is one of my all time favorite things. I recently stumbled upon a song by Matt Gilman, one of the worship leaders at IHOP. The song is called Holy. It is very powerful. Click here to listen to it on his myspace. This song is basically how I feel everytime one of these free flowing songs arise in my heart. I just want to shout. And cry. And fall down. I know it sounds weird...but I don't care. I love worshiping the Lord with total abandon and if that is through one single word that is fine. I hope I get to do it like this for the rest of my life. Even when I am in heaven.

12.03.2008

Shifting

This post doesn't really have a lot to it, except that I wanted to make note that I feel like things are about to start shifting with my family, friends, church, work, everything. Shifting in a good way. I can't describe why I feel this way or what exactly the shift will entail, but I feel like the ground beneath me is gently sliding in a new direction.

I am excited. What's next?

On another random side note, I am so excited that it is the Holiday season. Christmas is my favorite time of the year. I love the music, movies, gift giving, decorations, snow, even the chaos at the stores (I know, it's a little weird, but don't judge!) This year in particular I am in awe of incarnation of Jesus. The fact that the savior of ALL mankind wrapped himself in our human flesh and form as a little bundle just like everyone else is astounding. I want this awe to continue all the time.

The other day I was singing carols in the car and I got to What Child is This and almost started crying. Thinking about Jesus Christ who came to this earth FULLY man and experienced all the same things that I have experienced (if not to a higher degree). Yet, he was FULLY God, never sinned and stood in my place to receive my judgment on the cross. It blows my mind to say the least. This again is one of those things I don't think I will ever understand on this earth. And if that is what helps me keep the awe I am okay with that.

11.19.2008

The Stone Was Rolled For Us

Here is an interesting thought that was brought up in my small group last night. We just finished reading through the Gospel of Mark and we were pondering the last chapter about the resurrection of Jesus. Someone brought up the point that "the Marys" (Magdalene and Mother) prepared all the spices for Jesus' body and on the way to the tomb they thought "Who is going to move the stone in front of the tomb for us?" It is interesting that they didn't think of this before leaving for the tomb and bring along some of the big strong disciples to help. However, when they got to the tomb we all know what they found - the stone had been rolled away! Now, in this situation one of two things happened, either these women were bad planners and a bit dull or they had great faith. A great faith that God would roll the stone away for them. Honestly, I think they were just under prepared. But, God wasn't...

I think it is neat that the writers of all the gospels included the fact that the stone had been rolled away and in Mark it even notes the conversation between the women of "Who will roll the stone?" Why didn't they just say that the women got to the tomb and it was empty, why is that small part about the stone moving so important. Obviously, God did not remove the stone for his own good. The resurrected Jesus could walk through walls and didn't need the stone moved for him to bust outta the grave. God rolled the stone away for us. He rolled the stone away to clear the obstacle for the Marys. He rolled the stone that we could easily know the the Son of God was raised from the dead. He rolled the stone away so that we could see. He rolled the stone away because he loved us.

11.17.2008

Taste and See

Psalms 34:8 is one of my favorite passages. The NIV translation reads "Taste and See that the Lord is good, blessed is the man who takes refuge in him."

I think the reason that this one of my favorite verses is the use of the verbs taste and see. The verse doesn't say "Know that the Lord is good." It doesn't confine God to just mere human knowledge. It pushes us to experience God in a tangible and satisfying way. I think our society gets wrapped up in a head knowledge of the God. The American church begins to focus solely on creating good doctrine (which is important) and having all the right answers based on scripture (which is also important). But, I believe when the emphasis is only placed on knowledge and correct answers, and leaves out the very important part of an encounter with the living God then, we begin to create an idol of knowledge. And when we create idols of earthly things...well we all know what happens there.

This past week at church we sang a song by Jenn Johnson called "O Taste and See" Click here to listen to the song on her myspace. People were jumping around, dancing, playing tambourines, and shouting praises at the top of their lungs. It was a celebration like none other. No one wanted to stop worshiping! It was really fun stuff. Let's just say that God showed up and everyone walked away hoarse and happy.

Psalms 34:8 makes it apparent that we are not supposed to just know things about God and have all the right answers but, we are supposed to experience the goodness of the Lord. So, rather than just having a small taste of his goodness I pray that this week you (and I :) will experience a life-changing, earth-shaking encounter with the Creator of the Universe, that you will FEAST on his goodness, and walk away a changed person!

11.07.2008

Unanswered Questions

Lately, I have thought of a lot of questions. The types of questions that you wish you could ask God and receive a clear answer. Things that I assume will be revealed to us when we are in heaven, but for now God feels it isn't necessary. Below is a list of some of the questions that have been running through my mind. Maybe you can relate.
  • Is there life somewhere else in the universe other than Earth?
  • Did Judas know he was the betrayer when Jesus spoke about it at the last supper? If so, did he have a choice to repent and change his mind after Jesus spoke the words? If he did, why did he go through with it when Jesus said it would be better if the betrayer had never been born. If he didn't, then what happened to free will? Was he just a pawn in the grand scheme?
  • How many hairs are on my head?
  • Are we going to need to eat in heaven? Are we going to need anything in heaven?
  • How come some people receive more faith/favor than others? Why not give everyone the same amount so we all have an equal playing field?
  • How come some people are healed when we pray for them, and others are not?
  • How many stars are in the universe?
  • Do Adam and Eve have belly buttons?
  • If God knows everything then He knew that Adam and Eve would sin from the beginning and that this sin would ultimately lead to God having send Jesus to die for us. Why did He create the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil in the first place?
  • Why did you create mosquitoes?
  • Where is the Garden of Eden?
  • When did dinosaurs come into play? Before the flood?
  • Why does the devil keep doing what he does if he knows the end of the story?
  • Do our heavenly bodies look like our earthly bodies, but just prettier?
  • How did Jonah survive in the Whale?
  • Where the tongues of fire in the real world or spiritual realm? Could everyone see them?
  • How old was Jesus when he realized he was the Messiah/Son of God? How old was he when he realized what he was going to have to do for Humanity?
  • Why was there so much war and fighting in the old testament, but You are a God of love and peace?
  • How could the people of Jerusalem change their minds so quickly on how they felt about Jesus. One day they are greeting him with shouts of joy and praise and then a few days later they are shouting his sentence of death on a cross?
  • Is God a man or woman or neither/both?
  • Did creation literally take 6 days or was that time stretched out over thousands of years?
  • What is eternity really like?
These are just a handful of the questions I would love to have the answers to and this is barely the tip of the ice burg. There are TONS more. I think it is important that we ask these types of questions. We might not ever know the answers on this earth, but I think God likes that we are curious. Honestly, I am OK with not knowing the answers to things like this it is all part of God's mystery. It opens the door for God to give me revelation if he wants and for me to learn how to rest. How to rest in not knowing the answers but in the end knowing that God is good and that is all that really matters, right?

11.04.2008

Why I Love Election Day

Well, today is November 4th. The big election day. We have been waiting what seems like years for this thing to be done with. At this point, most people have decided who they are going to vote for. And I am convinced that all those "undecided" people are only saying that for the attention they get on CNN.com.

Josh and I got up super early to go vote before work. I kinda wish I hadn't now, because when I got to work we all had an e-mail from the big boss telling us to leave to go vote and take as long as we want. What's up with that!? I wish I would have known he was going to send that out and I would have taken a 3 hour lunch to go out to Williamson Co. and vote. Lame...

We waited about 30 mins in line. Saw a couple of friends in line as we waited. Stole some coffee from the church we voted at got an awesome sticker and overall had a great time. Afterward, we trecked on over to Krispy Kreme where they are giving out free red-white and blue sprinkel donuts today with an "I voted" sticker. Good stuff. Also, I just found out that with that same sticker you can get a free coffee at starbucks, a free chick-fil-a sandwhich, AND a Ben and Jerry's ice cream! This is the best day ever!!

Those aren't the only reason's why I love voting/election day. Here is a list of the top ten reasons why election day is awesome to me.

10. The Magic Map on CNN
9. Crazy campaigners standing on the corner with signs that say "Christians for Obama" (Shouldn't it be Christians for Jesus people? It seems they are putting their hope in the wrong place...)
8. The people who honk at the crazy campaigners standing on the corner and yell out their window "Go John McCain!"
7. Free coffee from the People's church (my voting location)
6. The flashing red button at the top of the digital ballot that says "Vote." It makes you feel like you are pressing something important.
5. The anticipation awaiting the results till the wee hours of the night/morning.
4. The "I voted" sticker that you get to wear proudly during the day.
3. The free reign to take as long as we want to vote from our bosses.
2. Election day perks at Starbucks, Chick-fil-a, Ben and Jerry's, and Krispy Kreme and more...
1. Getting to be a part of deciding the future for America.

But, seriously people. Go vote. It's important. It's critical. It's today.

10.27.2008

On the Brink

Nearly everyone I know in the church is on the brink of something big, including myself. Cambellsville, KY is in the midst of revival, North Park University in Chicago is about to break out in revival. Vineyard Franklin feels on the verge of something huge. Even North West Church of the Nazarene in Columbus is about to see revival. All it takes is one major move of God and His manifest presence to blow the tops off of these things and we could see an out pouring of his spirit. Healings, signs and wonders, glory all of it!

The earth is being shaken. The economy plummeting is a sign of that shaking. Natural disasters are a sign of that shaking. War is a sign of that shaking. Disease is a sign of that shaking. More and more churches falling because of corruption is a sign of that shaking.

I feel like in this time God is about to do something huge with his people. His chosen ones. I think this revival that seems to be spreading is just the start of it. If we are nearing the end of times then it will be the churches darkest hour and the churches greatest hour as we see many horrible things happening across our land and within the body but also many people will come to the Lord and his glory will be made known to all.

I don't know for sure if we are nearing the day of the Lord, but it seems probable to me. In Joel 2:28 it says in that day..." I will pour out my spirit on all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy, your old men will dream dreams, your young men will see visions." Now more than ever, I hear of these things happening daily as well as other signs that the end may be near...

This isn't a doom and gloom post. I just feel that as the body of Christ we need to be prepared. We need to be prepared to come together as believers united and not divided. We need to be prepared to fight for souls in the great harvest that is upon us. We need to be prepared to fight against the forces of evil in the supernatural realm that are become more and more prevalent with each passing day. The time is urgent. The time is now. Be strong and courageous. Keep the faith. The Lord good, he is with us, and we know who wins.

10.25.2008

Milkshakes

Tonight was a good night. It consisted of reading by my "WoodWick" candle, which gives off the sound of a crackling fireplace. Then going to church and then to a great restaurant with called Genghis Grill where we all piled high bowls of "stir fry" type food and stuffing our selves. Then we came home and made milkshakes.

It was interesting the flavors of milk shakes that everyone chose to make. I stuck with a classic Peanut Butter Chocolate shake. It was thick and rich and beautiful. Jo wanted the same thing, but more Chocolate than Peanut Butter.

The boys both made weird concoctions... Of course. They had to add spices and weird chunks of things to their shakes. Josh added truffles and cinnamon to his...He ended up finishing mine and regretting his weird decision. Nate started with a base of Peanut Butter and added cloves, cinnamon, nutmeg, and caramel. This one actually turned out really good! Very "fally"

Tonight was a perfect night spent with friends and drinking shakes. Nothing too deep about it. Just good times!

10.23.2008

The Two Sides

For Halloween, my work is having a costume competition/party. This year I am dressing up with a group of girls as the iPod silhouette people who dance in the commercials. The costume is pretty awesome. Basically we will be wearing all black clothes/hats/shoes and we will strap onto our backs large pieces of cardboard covered in neon poster board. Each of us will have bright sparkly makeup that matches our posters and we will dance around to JET. Fun stuff. My favorite part is that it is unique and you can make it your self without having to buy something that you will only wear once and then try and sell on e-bay.

During lunch today the group of girls I am doing the costume with and I all went out to a costume shop to see if they had any fun makeup that could supplement our outfits. I had a strange experience.

Now, this has never happened to me before but, the second I stepped into that shop I felt physically ill. All the awful, dark and evil things that were in that place made my stomach turn. I couldn't look anywhere except the floor. I could feel a heavy, evil presence sifting throughout the room. My friends didn't seem phased.

We meandered around for a while, me looking at the floor, feeling like I was going to puke. They walked back into this back room and I followed. The room was so full of darkness that I literally ran from the room. They probably thought I was pretty crazy. I didn't care.

This whole experience made me realize just how prevalent the spiritual realm is. Light and Dark. For most people the attack from the dark side is subtle. They don't even realize the evil is around them and the enemy slowly inches his way in. For others the attack is more direct and they are blatantly partaking in the evil. And in a place like that, for someone who is filled with the Holy Spirit, I guess me, the best attack is to make them physically ill and get them out of the area so they don't start talking about Jesus.

I have nothing against trick-or-treating for kids as long as they are going as a princess, pumpkin or pirate. But now, I have everything against the celebration of Halloween. It is OBVIOUS to me that darkness surrounds this holiday.

On October 31st I will be praying and worshiping with friends at my condo. Who's in?

10.21.2008

Fighting

I heard a good quote yesterday. It was from Kris Vallotton, one of the associate pastors at Bethel Church in Redding, CA. He said "We are fighting from victory, not for victory...but we are still fighting."

It's pretty awesome that Jesus has already won the battle over death for us and holds the Keys of Hell in his hands. As Christians we know the end of the story. We win! But, that doesn't mean we stop fighting against evil in this world. We can't sit idly by doing nothing till we die or are raptured. Also, we shouldn't panic like the world is going to end when the stock market crashes. It isn't the end of the world, and if it was we should have nothing to fear because we are victorious in the fact that Jesus has paid the debt of our sin on the cross!

Good stuff.

10.20.2008

In the White Room

Over this past weekend I went on a trip to Cincinnati, Ohio for a wedding. The entire Michael family was present. Andrea, my sister-in-law, recently had an incredible encounter with the Lord in a vision where He took her up to Heaven. She told all of us (me, Josh, Nate, and Jo) about this and we were really excited to give it a try. Andrea told us to close our eyes and try to picture Jesus. On the edge of my seat I closed my eyes expecting big things and some elaborate journey through heaven with God. Walking on the golden roads and the seas of glass, flying around and meeting the apostles etc.

Immediately I pictured an empty white room. Nothing around at all. Stark and quiet. Then I tried to picture Jesus. The stereotypical Jesus in Jewish garb popped into the white room and stood there looking at me. I said "Hey" in my head to Him. He said "Hey" back. I asked him, "Are we going to go to heaven now?" and he replied "Not Yet." I said "Well, what do you want to do?" and he responsed "Just wait."

At this point on earth, Andrea asked us if we were getting anything. Joanna and I both said yes. Joanna then went on to share what she was seeing and it was this amazing adventure the Holy Spirit was taking her on. My white room started to look pretty boring. When it came my turn to share I said "Well, mine is pretty lame...I am just in a white room with Jesus."

All at once everyone in the room started to laugh. I realized how bad that sounded once the words left my mouth. Hanging out with Jesus is totally lame....(sarcasm). The spirit of diminishment was trying to negate this amazing experience I was having with the Lord. I rebuked that and moved on quickly.

I ended up staying in the white room with Jesus the whole time. I hugged Him. Asked him questions. Walked around the room with him. I held his hand. I talked to him and realized that He wanted me to know that I only needed him and nothing else. He wanted me to know Him more. I spent a while in my vision just studying the lines on His face, the color and emotion in His eyes and the waves of His hair. It was an incredibly intimate encounter with my creator and savior.

I plan on doing this "exercise" (for lack of a better word), often. Encountering God is amazing. We are always trying to do the "right thing" in our Christian walk. Have quiet time. Pray. Give money. Read the Bible. But, as Brennan Manning says in his book Signature of Jesus, "I spent so much time doing the things that would please God that I had no time left just to be with God." Keeping our focus on Him is important. We should not always strive to complete a daily checklist of things that we think will make God happy. Sometimes God just wants to hang out. Just resting in His presence and letting him love on you and you love on Him is one of the greatest things we can "do."

If this post tugged at your heart and you to want to have an experience with Jesus like mine I encourage you to close your eyes right now. Close them and picture Jesus. What is He doing? What does He want to tell you? Where does He want to take you? Let his love and presence go deep and rock you to your core. Trust me...it's not lame.

10.14.2008

Sing My Love

Another highlight of this past weekend at the Touch Healing Conference was the worship on Saturday night and Sunday Morning. It was led by John Mark McMillan and his wife Sarah McMillan. During this time the heavens opened up. I have never experienced such jubilant and fiery worship. I literally shouted at the top of my lungs several times just because I couldn't hold it in and I was so overwhelmed with happiness! I was in total abandonment wrapped up in passionate worship with my King and Creator!

One song in particular really spoke to me, it is called "Sing My Love" by Sarah McMillan. There is a line in the song that says "He always knew me" that brought me to heart wrenching brokeness and extreme joy at the same time. God ALWAYS knew me, not matter how far or how close I am to him and that tore me apart thinking about how fickel I am but, he was always there and knew me better than I knew myself. For some reason as I thought about that line I was brought back to the 5th grade when I broke my leg in a car accident. The Dr. told my mom that I had powerful lungs. As I thought about that, I felt like the Lord told me he gave me powerful lungs for a reason and that was to praise him! Even if it is just in shouts of unpretty praise!

I encourage all of you to go to Sarah McMillan's myspace and listen to it, or buy the cd. Here are the lyrics

Words can never say, the way He says my name
He calls me lovely
No one ever sees, the way He looks at me
He sees me holy
Earth can never hold this love that burns my soul
heaven holds me

I can't hold my love back from you
I can't hold my love back from you
I've gotta sing, I've gotta sing
Sing my love

You would not believe, the way He touches me
He burns right through me
And I can not forget every word He said
He always knew me
Earth can never hold, the way he burns my soul
Heaven holds me.

I can't hold my love back from you
I can't hold my love back from you
I've gotta sing, I've gotta sing
Sing my love

Praise the Lord, Praise the Lord
My soul makes, makes it's boast in the Lord

10.13.2008

You are My Treasure

Last weekend I went to Campbellsville, KY to attend a Healing Conference at the Vineyard church there. The conference was called Touch, and the vineyard brought in Joaquin Evans as a guest speaker for the event. Joaquin, is the director of the healing rooms at Bethel Church in Redding, CA. This church is living in the manifest presence and power of the Kingdom of God. They see miracles happen on a daily basis. He said they have seen over 100 deaf ears open in the healing rooms at Bethel in the past 8 weeks!

We (my Husband and I) got there on Saturday afternoon just in time for the "Treasure Hunt." But, this wasn't a normal-cheesey-youth-group-treasure-hunt. This was a treasure hunt, where before we left we asked God for clues. A name, a color, a place, a peice of clothing, an item, an ailment. Then, you go out and find the treasure that God wants you to pray healing over and minister to. Some of the words my group got were:
  • flour asile
  • McDonnalds
  • red hat, black shirt, jeans, white man
  • Tattoo on right arm
  • Hernaited disc
  • Black shoes
  • Martin Luther King Blvd.
  • Bridge
  • Knee problem
  • and more
My group consisted of My sister-in-law (Andrea), Luke, Josh, Joaquin, and myself. A lot happened in the 1 hour that we went out. But here are the highlights....when I told the group I got the word flour asile, they thought I was saying flower asile. As we were pulling into the Walmart parking lot Andrea got disapointed because there wasn't a flower asile at walmart. And I said "No, the word was for the baking flour asile" and we all perked up again. However, As we approched Walmart there were a bunch of flowers sitting out front. Standing in front of the flowers was a white guy wearing a red hat, black shirt, jeans, with a tatoo on his right arm. He fit our words from the Lord to a T! As we prayed we could see him softening, his heart opening up, and he was blessed.

Then, we went into the grocery store to the flour asile. We got to the asile and started trying to talk to these women and they were having nothing of it. Then, Joaquin said "Well, where is the flour in this asile..." and were were like "Oh, it is at the other end." (which was empty) But, we decided to walk down there anyway. As soon as we were standing next to the flour the presence of the Lord fell on all of us very thick and a man turned the corner who was limping. He couldn't speak english. but Andrea spoke to him in spanish and found out that he had shooting pain going down his leg. From his hip to his knee. We laid hand on him and prayed and he was COMPLETELY healed! It was amazing. The kingdom of God fell in Walmart.

Every group came back from the treasure hunt with stories like this! It was incredible, and it all happened in 1 hour! I definitely plan on having a treasure hunt again sometime in the near future.

The conference was exactly the refreshing my soul needed. The treasure hunt was the tip of the iceburg. The worship was liberating and heaven opened up! I felt so much love for the Lord! In fact I felt immersed in the river of the Holy Spirit the whole time. The ministry time was a flowship of believers seeking more from the Lord. It was like a cleansing fire that washed over me for 2 straight days. Not just at the conference, but in conversation with the people before and after, over meals, sleeping, and on the ride home to and from.

I was afraid that the stress I was feeling last week would creep back in today at work, but it didn't! I have felt God's presence and peace all day. I am so glad I was spun by the world last week, so now I can feel what it is like to be spun by my king! AH! I love it!

Spin me more Lord!

I can't wait to see what the Lord has in store for me tomorrow.

10.07.2008

Spinning

The word spinning, for me has many different implications and brings back lost memories and present life. Last week if you said the word spinning to me the first thing that would come to mind is spinning class at the YMCA. An incredibly intense workout on a stationary bike that will kick your butt and leave your sore for days.

Two years ago, if you said the word spinning, it would take me back to 1989, when I was 5 in a frilly Easter dress and white gloves. Spinning and twirling so fast in that dress till I thought I was going to fall on the ground or puke. I would always look to the grassy carpet below me and pretend I was standing in the middle of an old record player and the earth was my mom's Manhattan Transfer record playing the music I would spin to. Laughing, carefree, happy with a world of dreams ahead of me.

Today if you said the word spinning it would mean something totally different. Right now my entire life feels like it is spinning. People are whirring by. Time is whirring by. Life is whirring by. Everyone is so busy, including myself and there is nothing I can do to stop it. It feels like I am constantly running around trying to please the people at work, please my family, please my friends and there isn't any time left for what is really the ONLY important thing, which is pleasing God.

I feel like I am spinning my wheels and nothing of worth is accomplished. Get up. Go to work. Come home. Go to bed. Get up. Go to work etc. etc. Like a hamster on a wheel. Why does society have to dictate what we do with our time. What we do with our money. What we do.

I know this sounds like a dreary post. But, I am feeling dreary. Just one of those days I guess. I told you I wasn't going to be fake. I am just frustrated with the constant business of the week and not having time for God or anything else other than responsibility.

Hopefully I will come out of this soon...but until then I am just going to try and remember the time when spinning meant twirling the "world record player" in that lacy Easter dress with white gloves, ignoring the world around me. Laughing, carefree, happy with a world of dreams ahead.

10.05.2008

2 Things

First of all, last night we had our first "real" service at our new church building. It was AWESOME! God showed up in a mighty way. My husband received an amazing, encouraging word from another church member and it made me so happy that we are part of the Franklin Vineyard.

On a side note...which is really the first of the two things this blog is about... Josh and I are really excited about how CLOSE the new church building is to our condo! It's ridiculously close. It just just proves that God knew what he was doing when we were looking for houses at the beginning of the year and none of the other 4 offers worked out! But, since the church is so close now Josh and I are testing out new means of getting to church.

Last night, I had to be there early to practice with the worship team so I thought I will bust out my old roller blades and give them a try on the .8 mile distance to the new building...what can it hurt. I will get some exercise, save the planet by not emitting fumes from my car, and prove to my hubby that I will use the blades and we shouldn't sell them or give them to goodwill...(love you babe!)

Turns out roller blading is really scary. Especially, when there are 2 gigantic "surprise" hills. As I started descending the first hill I realized "this isn't going to be good..." I was rapidly picking up speed. I stiffened my legs. I knew if I didn't they would fly out of control. Faster and faster I zoomed down the hill. I assessed the situation as the trees to my left and right flew by in a blur. I was definitely going to fast to just fall in the grass to the side of the road and stop myself. I was also going to fast to slowly put on the "back-breaks" that were on the blades...also, I wasn't entirely sure I knew how to use them. All I could do was let my legs flow with the grooves of the pavement and pray that I didn't hit a bump/rock/hole and wipe out. I think I said out loud as I was flying down the hill at +60 mph "I'm gunna die, I'm gunna die..." till I slowed to a stop, in a nervous sweat at the foot of the next gigantic hill that I then climbed and repeated the process.

None the less...I arrived at church sweaty and scared, but unhurt and willing to give it a try again next week. At least I will sorta know what to expect! A word to the wise though...if you haven't roller bladed in a while stick to flat ground for your first few times out.

I will let you derive the "life metaphor" from this story as you see fit.

The 2nd thing...this morning was awesome! Went to the park and laid on a blanket in the cool shade till the sun melted the shade away and the hot rays heated my body. It was great :)

10.04.2008

Saturdays

I love Saturdays. This morning has consisted of me waking up, eating pancakes, drinking coffee, taking my bother-in-law to work (at the Library), awkwardly waiting for 15 minutes in the parking lot till the library opened while reading the Bible, paroozing the fiction stacks, reading for 30 mins or so, and then checking out 2 books (Till We Have Faces by C.S. Lewis and Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen) and 2 DVDs ( Osama, and the complete second season of West Wing, which I was forced to return to the library less than 24 hours ago and recheck out this morning), driving home with the windows down, blaring the new John Mark McMillan CD and finishing my lukewarm coffe.

My heart is full! It doesn't take much for me to have a full heart on a day I get to spend at my leisure. On days like this I hear the voice of God more. On days like these I find revelation. On days like these I can relax in His presence. I don't get muddled up in the stress of work, I don't get distracted by responsibility and I can just be. I find myself more in comunion with God and it frustrates me that I can't spend every day just like this.

I know this dream can be a reality. There are plenty of people who get to experience this delight. Even in the work place. There are some people who easily slip into his presence. Easily comune with the Lord and amongst the stress can find peace and joy. This is something that I struggle with. I find my heart being pulled away to the busyness of creating e-blast, circulating P.O.s, getting ads approved, and meeting after meeting.

I am praying hard for God to either give me peace and joy at times when He feels the furthest away, or for Him to open up a door at a job (or no job) where it will be stress free and every day can be like this Saturday.

I LOVE His presence and want to seek after that all the time! Lord, please give me more encounters with you during the hetic week or open the door to a less hetic life that is spent in total abandoment in your presence!

10.03.2008

An Undivided Heart

So I have caught the blogging bug. Everyday I find myself constantly checking my friends blogs for updates and always thinking "If I had my own blog I would write about _____." So the day is here, my very own blog. Like it or not.

Let me begin by telling you what this blog WON'T be...
This won't be a blog of great importance or a blog that tries to change the course of history. It won't be a blog of deep intellectual pondering. It won't be fake. It won't be editied. It won't be about being a perfect christian. It won't always be funny. It won't necessarily be motivational. It won't be about one specific thing all the time. It won't always be about God. It won't be the same ole, same ole.

However, it will be my reflections and thoughts on life. It will be about my christian walk and trying to stay in His truth. It will be about Music. It will be random. It will include some
stuff you might not expect to hear from a christian. It will be real. It will be blunt. It will be me.

The inspiration for the name of the blog is Psalm 86:11-13. It is a powerful verse/prayer for the Lord to have us walk in his truth, glorify him with all our hearts - undivided, and praising Him for His GREAT love and because He has saved us from death.

I was reading this verse last night and was struck by the power of praying and fully realizing these things. It's overwhelming that the creator of the universe has taken the time to love me with a passionate, unyielding, graceful, powerful, relentless love. And on top of that SAVE me from death! AH! It makes me so happy! I love it! So... my prayer is to stay in line with the first part of this passage. For the Lord to teach me His ways, guide me in His truth, and give me an undivided heart that only answers to Him.

We will see how it goes...