Recently, I have been praying for two main things in my life. I want an increase of His presence and I want an increase in my awareness of His presence. Sometimes I mindlessly go throughout the day not even thinking of God all but once or twice during the 9-5 hours.
In Mark 5 there is a story about a sick woman who had a bleeding disorder (for 12 years). She heard about the Jesus and the miracles He had done and she had hope. In verse 27-30 is says "...she came up behind Him in the crowd and touched His cloak, because she thought, 'If I just touch His clothes, I will be healed.' Immediately her bleeding stopped and she felt in her body that she was freed from her suffering. At once, Jesus realized that power had gone out from Him. He turned around in the crowd and asked, 'Who touched my clothes?'" (emphasis added)
Jesus was fully man and filled with the same spirit we are. Yet, he was so aware of the presence he carried that realized when there was a demand put on that power. I wonder what this felt like. Did He suddenly feel drained? Did His stomach turn? Did He feel a burning sensation in his body? But, even more than that I think it is amazing that He realized it!
I want that type of awareness of the spirit in my life. I want to constantly be aware of His spirit that I carry in this broken human vessel. I know that when I accepted the gospel message at an early age that the spirit came upon me and will never leave me. But I also know that He chooses to rest on people who seek him and desire to be in and know his presence more. I want to so be filled with the spirit during my daily walk that I can't help but notice when the spirit demands something from me or when something puts a demand on the spirit in me.
A good analogy regarding this...If you have a dove on your shoulder and you don't want it to fly away how would you walk? The answer is very carefully. Not carelessly. And most likely you would have a constant sense of the dove's presence on your shoulder.