The word spinning, for me has many different implications and brings back lost memories and present life. Last week if you said the word spinning to me the first thing that would come to mind is spinning class at the YMCA. An incredibly intense workout on a stationary bike that will kick your butt and leave your sore for days.
Two years ago, if you said the word spinning, it would take me back to 1989, when I was 5 in a frilly Easter dress and white gloves. Spinning and twirling so fast in that dress till I thought I was going to fall on the ground or puke. I would always look to the grassy carpet below me and pretend I was standing in the middle of an old record player and the earth was my mom's Manhattan Transfer record playing the music I would spin to. Laughing, carefree, happy with a world of dreams ahead of me.
Today if you said the word spinning it would mean something totally different. Right now my entire life feels like it is spinning. People are whirring by. Time is whirring by. Life is whirring by. Everyone is so busy, including myself and there is nothing I can do to stop it. It feels like I am constantly running around trying to please the people at work, please my family, please my friends and there isn't any time left for what is really the ONLY important thing, which is pleasing God.
I feel like I am spinning my wheels and nothing of worth is accomplished. Get up. Go to work. Come home. Go to bed. Get up. Go to work etc. etc. Like a hamster on a wheel. Why does society have to dictate what we do with our time. What we do with our money. What we do.
I know this sounds like a dreary post. But, I am feeling dreary. Just one of those days I guess. I told you I wasn't going to be fake. I am just frustrated with the constant business of the week and not having time for God or anything else other than responsibility.
Hopefully I will come out of this soon...but until then I am just going to try and remember the time when spinning meant twirling the "world record player" in that lacy Easter dress with white gloves, ignoring the world around me. Laughing, carefree, happy with a world of dreams ahead.