I end up rushing through my day getting home and feeling the need to zone out and not communicate anything at all. Which is opposite of how I used to be. I used to talk my husbands ear off all the time, but lately the tables seem to have turned. He ends up talking and talking...and I am listening, but I rarely have the energy or mind power to even process a reply sometimes. He ends up contantly thinking I am not listening and something is wrong between us...which I don't like. I feel like a bad wife sometimes.
I am craving quite time. I am craving a moment where it seems as though I have the house to myself (even if I don't actually). I need space to process, pray, write, read etc. I don't like what this busy schedule is turning me into. I find myself being less patient and gracefilled toward the people around me. I find pride sneaking in and find offense coming more easily...Lord help me. Draw me back to you. I need space. I need time. I need a break. I need you more.
I can't function as a loving caring wife and friend when this business starts to seep into my personality as it is now. I can't be a good and productive employee when I am so overwhelmed at work that I can barely get an e-mail out. I can't function as a passionate worshiper, servant, and friend to God when I barely have time to clear my mind and focus on him before the next scheduled activity. Something's gotta give, cause this just isn't working.