8.27.2009

Before I Turn 35

I've been thinking about my list a lot since my last post, but I haven't ever had the time or muster to actually make a list...well actually I made the list on my new iTouch and then in not being familiar with the program ended up accidentally deleting it...kinda depressing actually. So for now...I am going to write my premilinary list and will use this post as a framework to come back to and shape and mold my list over the next few months.
  1. visit Israel
  2. visit Europe at least once
  3. make my own wine
  4. record an album
  5. write some significant poetry
  6. ride in a hot air balloon
  7. hike the grand canyon again
  8. visit wine country in California
  9. have a baby
  10. start a successful sustainable company
  11. ride an elephant
  12. ride a camel
  13. see Niagara falls again
  14. camp for a week or more straight, prefreably in the middle of nowhere
  15. plant a church
  16. preach a sermon
  17. surprise a stranger with a good gift
  18. learn another language (Spanish or french)
  19. live in another country for at least a month
  20. sucba dive
  21. take ballroom dance classes
  22. Learn how to make authentic greek food
  23. Skydive
  24. Hike/Camp in the Rockies
  25. White water raft
  26. Take a spontaneous trip to the beach
  27. Be a teacher for a season
  28. build a house and live in it
  29. Read the top ten classic novels
  30. Plant a baby tree and watch it grow to a massive tree
  31. Make a time capsule
  32. Go to an Ohio State/Michigan Football Game...at the Horseshoe.
  33. ...
  34. ...
  35. ...

More to come later.

8.12.2009

The List...coming soon!

I had lunch with a friend today who is turning 30 next year. He was telling me all the things he is going to do in between now and then to prepare for the big three-zero. Things like run a marathon, hike in New Zealand, and visit Istanbul. This conversation got me thinking and has inspired me to create my "Before I turn 30" list...however since that is less than 6 years away and I have only spent about 5 mins thinking about my list and already have at least 5 relatively expensive trips on it, I think i might have to make my list a "before 35 list" unless i win the lottery....

List to come soon.

8.10.2009

The Business of Business

It has most definitely been almost one month since I have posted...I'm a delinquant blogger...and I have been super busy. So busy, that I am actually starting to feel like I am back at school 2 weeks before a show, finals and a 12 page paper combined. When life gets this busy it becomes hard to connect. Hard to connect with my husband, co-workers, friends, family and most of all God.

I end up rushing through my day getting home and feeling the need to zone out and not communicate anything at all. Which is opposite of how I used to be. I used to talk my husbands ear off all the time, but lately the tables seem to have turned. He ends up talking and talking...and I am listening, but I rarely have the energy or mind power to even process a reply sometimes. He ends up contantly thinking I am not listening and something is wrong between us...which I don't like. I feel like a bad wife sometimes.

I am craving quite time. I am craving a moment where it seems as though I have the house to myself (even if I don't actually). I need space to process, pray, write, read etc. I don't like what this busy schedule is turning me into. I find myself being less patient and gracefilled toward the people around me. I find pride sneaking in and find offense coming more easily...Lord help me. Draw me back to you. I need space. I need time. I need a break. I need you more.

I can't function as a loving caring wife and friend when this business starts to seep into my personality as it is now. I can't be a good and productive employee when I am so overwhelmed at work that I can barely get an e-mail out. I can't function as a passionate worshiper, servant, and friend to God when I barely have time to clear my mind and focus on him before the next scheduled activity. Something's gotta give, cause this just isn't working.

7.19.2009

Train Tracks

Lately I have been feeling like my life is wandering and a bit aimless. I have felt like I don't have any type of end goal that I am reaching for, and to me, this is torture. I love having goals. I love having direction. I love knowing that I am headed in the right direction. I love being unified with my husband in knowing what our next step in life is. It's a good feeling to be accomplishing something.

Josh and I just celebrated our 2 year anniversary. We went to Atlanta and had a blast. While there we went out to one really nice dinner and over this dinner got into a discussion on what is our calling as a couple. You see, it feels like everyone else around us already has thier life figured out. Some people know they are called to missions/the Nations. Some people know they are called to be a pastor, business man/woman, youth leader etc. and it's not that Josh and I haven't spoken about this before but it seemed like our calling kept getting lost in all the junk of the day to day.

It was a pretty deep discussion which I enjoyed emmensly. I think we walked away from that conversation with a realization that we are in a season of preperation. We are in a season where the Lord is preparing our hearts to be in tune with his and He is giving us time to work on and hone our gifts and talents in order to be ready for the next season of stepping forward into what we believe is our calling.

This conversation got me all excited to start really refocusing on the Lord and press into Him and the lessons that he wants to teach me. I feel like I am called to try and refocus in on writing and playing music. This is SO important to me, but it's funny how even when something is really important to you it can sometimes take a back seat to the business of life. You really have to go out of your way to set aside time to nurture your gift and go deeper into the Lord.

In church last night someone had a word about a train that is sitting on the tracks waiting...and the Lord is in the process of placing the rest of the rails on the track and you can't move till the track is built. It's almost like you are in a holding pattern. I felt like that word confirmed the season that Josh and I are in and confirmed the fact that the Lord really wants us to dig into him and start to develop the skills that we will need in the future when the tracks are down and the doors start to open for us to chug forward.

7.10.2009

My Papa

Growing up my sisters and I called my Dad, “Papa.” I think we did this because that is what the girls on Little House on the Prairie called Michael Landon (the dad). Now we don’t call him that so much as we just do “dad” but, I thought it was a fun way to start this blog by telling you what we called him. So in honor of the month after father's day (read: I started this on father’s day and never finished it…) I thought I would share a few thoughts/memories on my Papa.

One time Dad took me on a camping/portaging/canoeing trip in Canada. This is one of the fondest times I have ever had with my dad. We trekked across Algonquin Park carrying our canoes over land and sweeping our oars through the clear crisp Canadian water to make our way to our camp site. Along the way I have many recall times of us trying to mimic a loon call every time we saw one, hiking what seemed like 20 miles up a mountain, falling asleep/peeing my pants listening to the wolves howl in the distance, being a mere 10 feet away from a MASSIVE moose caught in the mud on a river bed, and having several bear scares throughout the trip that ended up just being tree stumps. It was a bonding trip. One distinct father memory I have from this trip was when we were in the canoe paddling through a river/swampy fairway that seemed to have no end and my dad had brought along his beloved guitar. At one part during the river/swampy fairway my cousin and I started splashing each other with the oars. My dad looked at me and said, “Don’t tip the canoe. If you tip the canoe, my guitar goes in the water and it gets ruined. I won’t be happy. I’ve had that guitar long than I’ve had you.” (oh papa...)

Another dear memory I have of my dad is when I was quite young. He would get home from work, my sisters and I always wanted to climb all over him and be around him. He would mostly be tired and lay on the floor face down trying to take a nap. Naturally, my sisters and I would then pester him by poking him, standing on him, and jumping over him. All the while my dad wouldn’t move a muscle. Eventually, rather than yelling at us and telling us to get the heck away from him my dad would play a game. A game we fondly called “monster rock.” (now that I think about it, it was kinda like calling my dad a monster and rock all rolled into one…not the most endearing thing ever but…I digress.) Basically, Papa would lay so still and steady till we could barely stand it and then all of a sudden, out of nowhere, he would grab as many of us as he could in one swoop and wrestle with us and tickle us till one of us eventually peed our pants or cried “uncle.”

These two memories are little snippets of the fun and joy that I had growing up in a loving household. I have lots of wonderful memories with both of my parents and I am so thankful for all that they have done for me though the years. I am looking forward to developing my relationship and more memories with both of them in the years to come as their grown up daughter and as a friend.