God has been teaching me more and more that my life should be operating in power. I shouldn't just wait till I am at church to be moving in the supernatural but I should be naturally supernatural every day of my life. I should be walking around abiding in him as I drive, type, sit in meetings, take phone calls, eat, sleep etc. and I will naturally be filled with his presence and begin to operate in the power that will bring people to him.
As I abide in him, my heart will begin to see life in places where things have gone dead...i will start to see God's solution for ruptured and dissolving situations. I will begin to realize the Good He has for the world. And rather than be overwhelmed by the collapsing governments and surrounded by adulterous nations and people hopefully I will have the courage to speak truth and glory into those situations.
I am trying to fix my eyes on him and learn what this looks like. Learn to live like Jesus every step of the way...
Of course it is a lot easier to write about all this than it is to actually live it. It's a lot easier to say I will walk up to a hurting and lonely stranger and give them a prophetic word. It's a lot easier to say I will pray for a co-worker when they tell me they aren't feeling well. It's a lot easier to say when someone passes me in a wheelchair while I'm doing my lunch time devotional that I will boldly walk in their direction and ask to pray for their entire healing...mind, body and, soul.
Lord, give me strength and courage...this was your plan from the beginning, and it's going to take a while for this fearful little mind to adapt to, but I honestly want this.
9.16.2009
9.13.2009
His Love
Lately I have been overwhelmed by God's Love. A few weeks ago, I messed up...and I messed up bad. After the big screw-up I wallowed around in my guilt and shame for a few days. I felt depressed, frustrated at what I had done, mad at myself for slipping and sad that I felt like I had really let the Lord and the people around me down. I was humbled to say the least.
In the midst of all of this the Lord just started to show me little snippets of His love. Through my husband, my church, the Bible, and more. In a sense I did go back to square one and I had to be convinced that God could love me again because I fell so hard. I had to be reassured that He will be faithful and His Love is stronger than my sin and completely unfailing. It's not an unfailing love that is dependent on me being perfect...but it's unfailing ALL the time.
I sit here typing this blog today, knowing God's love in a stronger more passionate way than ever before. It's overwhelming to be completely forgiven. It's overwhelming to me that Jesus would DIE a horrific death on the cross to save me from literally hell because He loves me. It's overwhelming to me that He still pursues after me when I mess up and roll around in my selfish guilt and self loathing for a few days. It's overwhelming to me that He still wants to use me from this broken place where it barely feels like I should be allowed to be around other believers let alone minister to/with them. It's overwhelming to me that He would not only pull me from the place of guilt but bring me out on the other side with a renewed passion for Him...I guess that's just one of the many ways He works all thing together for my good....
He is such a worthy, powerful, magnificent Lord and friend. I am so thankful. I'm looking forward to experiencing more of His love in the coming season. Shoot, maybe I will even learn to love others with a fraction of the faithfulness and passion that He loves me. So amazing.
In the midst of all of this the Lord just started to show me little snippets of His love. Through my husband, my church, the Bible, and more. In a sense I did go back to square one and I had to be convinced that God could love me again because I fell so hard. I had to be reassured that He will be faithful and His Love is stronger than my sin and completely unfailing. It's not an unfailing love that is dependent on me being perfect...but it's unfailing ALL the time.
I sit here typing this blog today, knowing God's love in a stronger more passionate way than ever before. It's overwhelming to be completely forgiven. It's overwhelming to me that Jesus would DIE a horrific death on the cross to save me from literally hell because He loves me. It's overwhelming to me that He still pursues after me when I mess up and roll around in my selfish guilt and self loathing for a few days. It's overwhelming to me that He still wants to use me from this broken place where it barely feels like I should be allowed to be around other believers let alone minister to/with them. It's overwhelming to me that He would not only pull me from the place of guilt but bring me out on the other side with a renewed passion for Him...I guess that's just one of the many ways He works all thing together for my good....
He is such a worthy, powerful, magnificent Lord and friend. I am so thankful. I'm looking forward to experiencing more of His love in the coming season. Shoot, maybe I will even learn to love others with a fraction of the faithfulness and passion that He loves me. So amazing.
9.04.2009
Blessed
Today, I was driving home after spending a beautiful afternoon of fellowship, prayer and worship with a great friend and I felt overwhelmed. I felt overwhelmed with a sense of joy and God's blessing on my life. I couldn't stand it. I started saying out loud over and over again, "thank you. thank you. thank you." till I found myself weeping. I am just so blessed to be seen and known by the Lord of the universe.
That He would care enough for me to give me a day off and fill it with irreplaceable moments with an amazing friend. That He would care enough to use me, the broken sinning vessel that I am. That He would care enough to bless me with a home, an amazing husband, a brilliant church, plenty of food, a job in the weakening economy, free space and time to meditate on him, my health, my families health, caring friends and more. That He would care enough to meet me in my car driving on 65 north on a random Friday afternoon and show me how blessed I am.
My heart is full right now. Thank you to who ever is out there praying...I'm feeling it. I'm so overwhelmed.
That He would care enough for me to give me a day off and fill it with irreplaceable moments with an amazing friend. That He would care enough to use me, the broken sinning vessel that I am. That He would care enough to bless me with a home, an amazing husband, a brilliant church, plenty of food, a job in the weakening economy, free space and time to meditate on him, my health, my families health, caring friends and more. That He would care enough to meet me in my car driving on 65 north on a random Friday afternoon and show me how blessed I am.
My heart is full right now. Thank you to who ever is out there praying...I'm feeling it. I'm so overwhelmed.
8.27.2009
Before I Turn 35
I've been thinking about my list a lot since my last post, but I haven't ever had the time or muster to actually make a list...well actually I made the list on my new iTouch and then in not being familiar with the program ended up accidentally deleting it...kinda depressing actually. So for now...I am going to write my premilinary list and will use this post as a framework to come back to and shape and mold my list over the next few months.
More to come later.
- visit Israel
- visit Europe at least once
- make my own wine
- record an album
- write some significant poetry
- ride in a hot air balloon
- hike the grand canyon again
- visit wine country in California
- have a baby
- start a successful sustainable company
- ride an elephant
- ride a camel
- see Niagara falls again
- camp for a week or more straight, prefreably in the middle of nowhere
- plant a church
- preach a sermon
- surprise a stranger with a good gift
- learn another language (Spanish or french)
- live in another country for at least a month
- sucba dive
- take ballroom dance classes
- Learn how to make authentic greek food
- Skydive
- Hike/Camp in the Rockies
- White water raft
- Take a spontaneous trip to the beach
- Be a teacher for a season
- build a house and live in it
- Read the top ten classic novels
- Plant a baby tree and watch it grow to a massive tree
- Make a time capsule
- Go to an Ohio State/Michigan Football Game...at the Horseshoe.
- ...
- ...
- ...
More to come later.
8.12.2009
The List...coming soon!
I had lunch with a friend today who is turning 30 next year. He was telling me all the things he is going to do in between now and then to prepare for the big three-zero. Things like run a marathon, hike in New Zealand, and visit Istanbul. This conversation got me thinking and has inspired me to create my "Before I turn 30" list...however since that is less than 6 years away and I have only spent about 5 mins thinking about my list and already have at least 5 relatively expensive trips on it, I think i might have to make my list a "before 35 list" unless i win the lottery....
List to come soon.
List to come soon.
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