11.02.2010

Confessions

When I say I don't want the last bite of cheesecake I am, in fact, always lying...but mostly to myself.

I'm a bad neighbor...i don't pick up willow's "business" every time. In fact, i probably only get it about 50% of the time and most of the time that's only when someone is watching.

I spend $30 dollars a month for a gym membership and have gone 4 times in the last 2 months. Let's hear it for $15 workouts.

I only clean my bathroom when I know for a fact someone is going to see it other than me and Josh.

I have plenty of money, but i'm constantly looking for pennies on the ground.

My dog hasn't been bathed in over a month.

Sometimes when I write music (which hasn't been a lot lately) i'm so crippled by fear that I won't play it for anyone, even my husband.

I don't change my contact lenses every month. It's more like once every two months and I will most likely get an eye infection at some point because of this laziness.

I haven't been to the dentist in over a year. And before that I hadn't been in over 4 years.

I text and even occasionally play solitaire while on the John.

Sometimes I rewash clothes up to 3 times before they make it to the dryer because they sat in the washer to long and started to smell moldy.

If I could eat only cheese all day, everyday, I would.

Sometimes I want to blog about work, but i've been told that's a really bad idea so a large part of my life and experiences are held back from being shared due to fear.

I fear mediocrity.

I regret not being in the musical or opera my Senior year of college.

Sometimes I can't go to sleep or relax in my house knowing my kitchen is messy.

I have a big head about my homemade popcorn making skills.

I fear being a mom, but being a mom is one of my greatest desires.

I miss Columbus, but mostly I miss the people that are there and sometimes I pray that they will just move to Nashville.

I'm on the verge of not being able to fit in "normal" sizes anymore and it makes me want to cry.

When I voted in the primaries earlier this year I did very little research and picked some candidates because I liked their name or because they were women.

I daydream about being able to worship as my full-time job, but wonder if that's a selfish ambition and struggle with whether or not it's bad to be paid for worshipping.

I LOVE the Buckeyes, but most years I know nothing about our players, record, rank, etc.

I've lost touch with many friends over the years because i'm a horrible phone person and rarely call people back when they leave me a voicemail even though I genuinely wish i was a part of their life.

I know i'm really blessed in my life but i struggle with being content all the time.

3 comments:

  1. what a fascinating read! i really identify with the picking candidates bc of their name and gender. um. and i really do the same thing with phone conversations, and i feel the same sense of loss because i really do wish i were part of so many of those lives.

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  2. Here are my thoughts.

    - Best $15 we could spend, every time you go
    - You have been finding silver coins latly, and that one time you found a $5
    - Cross off the comment about willow now
    - You won't get an eye infection
    - Dentists are over rated ;) (Just ask my mom!)
    - Mediocrity fears me too, with our powers combined, we will win that one
    - Your popcorn is pretty awesome (and so is your butternut squash soup
    - I get the same Catch-22 with being a dad

    I think you are great the way you are and I love that you can be transparent (even if you work life isn't included)!

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  3. How did I miss this post? I miss that I used to be able to view the post while I commented - now I'll have to scroll up and down and up and down.

    We are like the same person - which isn't too surprising considering I raised you. (I, too, always want the last bite. Who cleans if only the family sees? Dolly is 6 years old and has had about that many baths. When I do any kind of art - it is painful to put it "out there." I don't go to the dentist any more - never want to shell out the co-pay - and there are ALWAYS other charges. My teeth seem fine. I sometimes re-wash clothes. Texting on the toilet = perfect use of time. Oh cheese! And on and on the similarities go.)

    You will be a FABULOUS and patient mother!

    Totally laughed out loud about your voting picks.

    Man, I love you. Loved talking to you yesterday. Call more often.

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