A New Horizon

So yesterday was a pretty big day for the my family (aka me and Josh). Josh has been pretty unhappy at his full-time job at 20/20 research and we had been praying that the Lord would give us a sign for him to be able to quit 20/20 or for the Lord to close the door there with Josh leaving on favorable terms. We were hoping that the sign would come in a monetary form...like Josh would receive some money from one of his side projects, get another job, or a random large check would come in the mail. (I am not kidding about that last one...)

Well yesterday the position at Josh's work was eliminated and they laid off all the Assistant Project Managers at 20/20 (3 people). I guess we got our sign/a very closed door. The company was great about everything. They offered him a good severance, plus a part-time job at the company should he want to continue a few days a week.

Now, I know that this is complete answer to prayer because Josh was feeling stifled at his job and I could tell that his passions and talent could be used elsewhere that would make him happy. But, this is a massive change that I didn't really prepare my heart and mind for. I am still in complete shock. Tons of thoughts and panicked moments start to run through my head. I am now the only person in our house that is working...I am going to have to drive myself to work now and not get the cherished 20 min drive to and from work with my hubby...We are going to be scraping for money again, when just two weeks ago we got to a financial point where we were comfortable...I am not going to be able to get the puppy...so much for a 2 y ear anniversary trip...etc. etc. etc....

I know I am being dramatic and a lot of this stuff won't be an issue after a couple of weeks. The Lord has never let us down. We have always had enough to get by, plus some. One of the big things that is making me feel better about this whole thing is a small "act" that happened yesterday. A few weeks ago Josh's sister had made this painting for him that had one half of a verse on it that says "May the Favor of the Lord rest upon us..." and then the second part of the verse was on a painting that she kept and it says "Establish the work of our hands. Yes Lord, establish the work of our hands."

For the longest time this painting sat next to the TV in our living room. Then I think it moved to the office at our house. But, yesterday, Josh thought - "I am going to take this to work and hang it up" He hung it up above his head at work in his cube. Then got laid off. Took and down, and brought it with him as he walked out of 20/20. The favor of the Lord was upon him as he was being let go. It came with him as he met me at Starbucks to give me the news... and it is with him wherever he is now. I believe the fact that he took that painting with him to work on the day he got laid off was significant. I think it's the Lords was of reminding me that Josh being laid off is in His favor and will for our lives.

Let it be Lord. I am learning to trust in You again. I know You care for us, Father. Please, guide our steps in this unknown time and let us know the next path for our family to take. I am trying to lean on you and let your blessings flow out of this sudden, scary, but good, answer to prayer.

45 Mins. of Singing Bliss

There are few things in this world that I enjoy more than musical and movie soundtracks. I tend to enjoy the soundtracks even more than the actual musical or movie themselves sometimes. Last Friday night I spent about 15 minutes singing various songs from all sorts of movies, TV Shows, and Broadway shows to my housemates challenging them to see if they could guess where the song came from (I know, we are a rowdy bunch right?). It was so much fun. Surprisingly, my husband knew a lot of the music from childhood Disney movies. Not from watching the movies himself but probably because I have sang them to him so often.

I also found that singing music from Broadway or my favorite Disney movie (read: The Little Mermaid/Beauty and the Beast) entertains and pleases my little live-in niece Ayla (who is now a cute 8.5 weeks old and a whopping 14+ lbs. Gotta love her!) It was one of the most fun things to see how docile and sweet she can been when I sing these songs to her. I babysat her on Sunday while her parents took a much needed nap. I think we spent a a whole 45 mins of her not crying but smiling at me as I sang some of my favorite tunes from the sliver screen/big stage. Children really do boost self-esteem.

But, never-the-less she eventually got bored and I had to distract her with shiny things (read: her swing, the tan and brown leaf pillows she loves, a wall sconce, boucing around, "Shhing" etc.). And then she pooped...everywhere! (EVERYWHERE!!! read: it got in her hair) I didn't mind changing her though for 3 reasons...

1. She is my cute little niece whom I love.
2. It was kinda funny.
   
3. She let me sing broadway to her for 45 mins and didn't complain...It's hard to find people like that nowadays.

What Do I Want From Them?

I starting "writing" in my head a little bit yesterday. I am beginning to believe I need a tape recorder handy to get this stuff down somewhere. Today I was thinking, what do I want to get out of my songs? I don't want to sell hundreds or thousands of CDs. I don't want to makes tons of money and I don't want fame from my music...

Here is what I have decided want from my songs.
I want to write songs that move people into a deeper relationship with the Lord. I want them to ignite corporate and personal worship. I want them to move me. I want them to move others. I want them to be dynamic and not fall flat like so many songs do. I want them to be gripping and poetic, but not in a "Shel Sliverstien way" where everything has to rhyme. I want them to pull someone into the place where they can meet the Lord in an intimate and powerful way. I want them to be from a heart that is searching but inspired by the creative reamls of heaven so they lead the lost to Jesus. I want them to bring a joyful and pleasing sound to the Lord's ear.

Wired That Way

Yesterday I went to the Vineyard women's book club meeting. I wasn't all that pumped about going because I hadn't read the book, but like my previous post said, I can't stand being home alone for more than 12 hours at a time. It starts to wear on my nerves. So I went.

The book that the women had read is called Wired that Way by Marita Littauer. It is a non-fiction book about the 4 different personality types, their strengths and weaknesses as well as how to relate to and please the other personality types that aren't your own. Not gunna lie, I was very intreigued. I was the only strong "Popular Sanguine" personality type out of the 15-20 women who were present. In reality I am a combo of "Popular Sanguine" and "Powerful Choleric."

As christians reading the book we are challenged to figure out our personallity type, realize what weaknesses we have and try to work on those issues that may offend or hurt others. It was funny reading through the personality types and realizing how accurate they were in the strengths and weaknesses that I posess. Here are just a few of the Sanguine/Choleric Strenghs and weaknesses that I relate to.

Sanguine Strenghs I feel I have

• Talkative storyteller
• good sense of humor
• emontional and dmonstrative
• expressive
• curious
• good on stage
• lives in the present
• volunteers for jobs
• Charms others to work/join
• starts in a flashy way
• Seems exciting
• Loves people
• Thrives on compliments

Sanguine Weaknesses I have

• Compulsive talker
• Exaggerates
• has a loud voice and laugh
• scares some people off
• gets angry easily
• Controlled by circumstances
• Complains
• Undisciplined
• easily distracted
• hates to be alone (see yesterday's post)
• interrupts and doesn't listen
• answers for others
• Wants to be opular
• Wants to be center stage

Choleric Stregths I have

• Leader
• Strong-willed and decisive
• independent
• sees the whole picture
• moves quickly to action
• stimulates activity
• Will lead and organize

Choleric Weaknesses I have

• Impatient
• Quick tempered
• Comes on too strong
• Little tolerance for mistakes
• Make rash decisions
• May be rude or tactless
• decides for others

I think knowing more what I am helps me to understand why sometimes other people just rub me the wrong way. After the book-club meeting I asked around to see if I could borrow someones book. I am so excited to read it and figure out what Josh and my family/friends are so I can learn to relate to them in a better way.

Silent House

After a weekend of non-stop movement and people filling our house I sit on a Sunday afternoon in a quite and empty condo. Josh has gone to Indianapolis for the day and Nathan, Joanna, and Ayla are at church/Jo's parents for the day.

I spent the morning slowly waking up, cleaning from the previous night's festivities, catching up on the best TV show ever (LOST), doing yoga, and wrapping up the mound of laundry that needed to be done. A leisurely morning doesn't happen often around here. I really enjoy it from time to time, but after a while it starts to feel odd....where is everyone? I wish they were home so I could at least be typing this blog next to someone I love. Even if Josh were just in the other room working on ESL Basics or if Jo were upstairs feeding the Ayla I would at least be surrounded by the ones I care about.

It is hard for me to picture myself living alone ever again. When the condo is empty it starts to feel cold and stale...that could have something to do with the snow that came last night or it could be that humans are made to be in community. God made us as relational beings and even if it's hard to find a moments peace and quite when the house is full...I much prefer it that way. :)