Our Christmas spent in Bloominton, IL with Josh's family was great. Lots of shopping, game playing, gift giving, snow watching, pie making, wine drinking, family feasting, picture taking and late nights followed by early mornings took place. I'm pretty sure after 3 days of stuffing myself to the gills of delicious and greasy/sugary food while burning the candles at both ends is what made my body finally call it quits.
I always seem to get sick around the holidays and I'm pretty sure the "too much fun" (as my Grandpapa would say) is what causes the plague. 2 years ago on the Christmas of 2008, I think i spent the majority of our time in Bloomington wrapped around a toilet trying to keep down at least one yogurt cup . The Christmas 2006, I traveled with the Michael's on New Years eve day to meet Josh's mom's side of the family for the first time. I ended up spending the entire day sleeping on his grandma's front room couch awkwardly saying "hi, i'm Josh's girlfriend" through cold chills and a swollen glands wrapped in a blanket to Josh's Aunt's, Uncles, and cousins who were complete strangers to me as they walked in the front door.
You would think I would learn my lesson. You would think i would eat less, go to bed earlier, maybe taken an Emergen-C on the ride to the cold tundra of Illinois and pack a few extra scarves, but I don't. And, once again, I find myself unable to breathe through my nose, barely able to swallow and a head that feels like i'm walking around in a muffled balloon.
I tend to be thick skulled and lessons don't sink in the first time, even when learned the hard way. This getting sick over and over is like the same lessons I have to keep learning from God. You see, I doubt sometimes. I forget God's strength and goodness. The road trip up to Bloomington, proved to be a low point for me on this topic and I wallowed in self-pity and worthlessness. I cried. stared out a window into the abyss of dark farm land passing by under the full moon, felt that I had nothing to offer and before I know what happens i'm going to be old and have done nothing worth anything in my life.
Then God did a funny thing. He had my husband pop in a sermon a friend had given us a few days before our trip and the entire thing was about faith. About the centurion who had faith that made Jesus MARVEL. About believing and declaring God's promises that he has spoken over me and realizing it has nothing to do with what I can accomplish and who I am, but who he is. (cheesy, i know...but true and something i'm always learning over and over again.)
Eventually, I realized that he CAN use me. That I AM called to lead worship. That I AM called to be a mother. That I AM called to business...and even if all three of those things don't seem to be able to co-exist in my dream world right now, that God is a master planner and WILL let these desires come to fruition one someday.
What lessons do you find yourself learning over and over again? What promises are you believing God for at the end of this year?