Don't freak out people...I am not depressed. The last post was pretty down but I am feeling much better today. However, I want to remind you that in the very first post of this lovely "withallhearheart" blog I stated that I would be "real" when posting on this site and I hate to break it to you, but, my life isn't all sunshine, candy, puppies, and rainbows people. Sometimes it's messy and sometimes it's pretty, but you have to take the good with the bad if you are going to follow my blog.
I struggled through being "real" and actually laying my heart and true emotions on the line before the last post. It's not that I am afraid of being open. I easily share a lot about my life with my friends and family because they know me. Even complete strangers I am okay with opening up to because I know I will probably never see them again. It's the random acquaintances that I worry about. I know of certain people who read this blog that see me/talk to me once or twice a week and they might start to worry after reading a post like the last one. They might think.."Do I need to be calling her once an hour to be sure she hasn't done something crazy" or "Sheesh, I am never leaving my kids with her again..." after reading what's really going on inside my jumbled head.
After wrestling with that on Monday night before hitting the orange "publish post" button I realized that this writing is something that really helps me process through some of the things I experience in life. I begin to sort emotions out in my head as I type and come to better realize why I act and react the way that I do...so, with that said, just know that I am (for the most part) emotionally stable and this blog has been a great way for me to sort through all my junk and emotions to rise above and learn from my past and that I am not going to take the grit out of my own "auto biography" just to make some acquaintances comfortable.