The Fever

So...from time to time I get baby fever. In case you don't know what that is, some symptoms of baby fever are:

• Random creation of baby name lists
• compulsive roaming of the baby section in target ooing and ahing over small shirts, dresses, jeans, vests, socks,....you name it
• Sketching out nursery designs and mentally deciding on colors, decor, rocking chairs, changing tables, etc.
• Frequent perusing of photos on facebook of all your friend's babies under age 2 (especially cute blonde ones who live in France.)
• Being caught up in la-la land imagining sweet little smiles, pudgy tiny toes and legs, kid hugs, white baby bonnets,
• An overwhelming desire to have kids and have them now

I've sorta been in one of those phases because it seems everyone around me is prego. And then I think about actually having a baby. Literally...having a baby (ow). No sleep. Potty Training. Temper tantrums. Feeding it green peas and having to scrape that stuff off their chin. Diapers. being in charge of wiping their nose. Being responsible for raising a human being. a soul that will last for eternity and my impact that soul...I mean - i'm 100% human and could really mess a kid up...it's overwhelming. By that point i'm convinced baby fever is really just me being selfish and wanting attention (because prego ladies get a lot of attention) and/or I'm just bored...and those are both horrible reasons to want children

I'm hoping when the time does come and we are actually ready to take the plunge into parenthood, that some of those fears will naturally dissolve or God will give me the grace to take it all in stride. I'm sure He will. He seems to be good at the grace giving thing. :)