my brain doesn't process information fast enough. I'm thinking about some spectacular revelation and trying to let it soak in...and before the thought is fully captured and filed away in the archives of my mind, I skip along to the next thought without even realizing it.
Sometime I so desperately want to feel each moment that i take mental notes of my surroundings. What does the person look like next to me? Where am i? What are they feeling? What am I really feeling...deep down? What are the emotions/heart/thought behind the words that i'm speaking. What is God trying to show me? What is He trying to...i need to stop by the post office...shoot, still need to go to the pharmacy...and i STILL need to schedule that hair appointment...oh yeah... What is He trying to mold me into through this precious moment of my life that I will never be able to relive again... "ring-ring".... phone...and on and on....
Honestly, how do deep thinkers do it. I open up my heart and mind and try and submerge my being into each moment and each revelation. I try to ponder the mysteries and meanings of life and quickly gets overwhelmed. I'm constantly wishing that I could pull out my journal while i'm sitting at my desk at work/eating in a restaurant/driving down the street to write down every little thought or it will slip away before it's in there for good to hold onto for later use.
Take for instance babies. At the moment of conception a life is started - inside another life no less (that's a whole crazy pondering in and of itself) - and then it grows. weirdly inside a uterus, of all things, for 9 months. pops out and rocks the world of everyone around. They are learning how to roll over, grab onto things, smile, hold their head up on that wobbly little neck of theirs and yet they are little souls that will live on for eternity. ETERNITY!!!! And then i start to think about eternity and what happens to all the babies who might have died before their time, unjustly. Do they go to heaven and then instantly know everything. from only knowing how to eat, sleep, cry, and poop to knowing everything!? And then my head explodes. 'nuff said.
Just a small example, of millions of subjects on which my brain capacity feels staggeringly low. Anyone else out there ever feel like this?
just to clarify - i'm not pregnant. I've just been surrounded by people who are pregnant so i've got babies on my mind. still no babies for me and josh though.
ReplyDeleteIt's funny how you can think on something you have been around all your life and it seem incredible or new somehow. So the answer to your question it YES! Awesome blog, Katherine!
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