100th Post

It's the 100th post.

There's a lot of pressure to be witty and amazing in my 100th post. To post reflections over the past 2 years of blogging. To thank all of my avid blog reading fans (went from 17 to 16 followers yesterday afternoon...sigh). To announce some big life change. To have some deep life meditation moment of how this blog has changed my life.

it hasn't.

But it has taught me how to process things. It has helped me sort through my thoughts. It's helped me put words to the emotions and feelings the fly around in my head. It's stretched me to really nail down and contemplate what God is teaching me. It's helped me recognize the beauty in everyday life. It also helped me work through the pain.

As I said in my very first blog post. "It will be real. It will be blunt. It will be me." and all of those things pretty much sum up what it has been thus far. (except i DO occasionally hold back a cuss word or two...knowing my aunts are reading it. ;)

With the formality of the 100th-Blog-Post-Recognition out of the way, I would like to say "thanks." Thanks for your comments and e-mails that were sent in response to my last blog. It truly was encouraging to hear all that you had to say and to know that others are praying that God will bring me a close friend.

And, in case you were wondering, I do feel better now. I'm no longer staring blankly at the celing crying my eyes out. I'm moving on. I'm even feeling pretty positive and happy today, thank you very much. :)

However since my blog does help me process my thoughts and deep ponderings i've been thinking a lot about the whole friend thing since then I've realized some things:

• Some of the acquaintances I have here could potentially grow to closer friends, I just need to give it some time...
• I should make more of an effort with my long distance friendships.
• That God has a plan, and there is a reason i'm in this season - but that He also wants good things for me and wants to see me happy so my prayer of one good friend WILL be answered.
• I need to try more spontaneous friend gatherings - you see, i'm a planner. I like to set a coffee or dinner date "on the books" several weeks in advance. Maybe this crazy planning cycle i've gotten myself into is the only reason why I don't see these acquaintances more often to build them into close friends!
• I truly do feel like I'm in need of one close friend, but that I might be feeling this heightened need for friendship because Josh and I have been really disconnected from our church community this summer. Traveling a lot. no small groups. when we are at church, we are serving in some way and never truly connect...etc. etc.
• I need to spend more time alone with God. Listening and Praying. Praying and Listening.

I think that's all for now. Thanks again for all your encouragement over the past couple of days. It means a lot to me...really.